Judge — April 2, 1892 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE MAJORITY of the house pledge their party to free coinage. Fools rush in. FATHER HOLMAN had grip, and the disease was glad to escape with its little germ. treite JINGOES ARE MEN who provoke fights; not men who fight because peace would be dishonor. T TAKES BRAINS to make a man crazy; and the wonder is, not that the Fields have so many lunatics, but so few. T IS NOT surprising, since the success of Fitzsimmons, that an Australian is coming here to swim up the falls of Niagara. R. SULLIVAN, pugilist, makes such patriotic speeches against foreign fighters that we really think he ought to be a new star on the national banner. ¥ HAS TO BE CAREFUL. Mrs. Bancrorr Your husband has never taken any active interest in Sun- day-school work, has he Mrs. RHINELANDER— "No; you see he is employed in a bank and the directors keep a pretty close watch of him.”* BY WAY of advertising his paper the publisher of the New York Record- er will take contracts to sweep the streets of New York of dirt and the ocean and our inland seas of British war-vessels. THE DASTARDLY DELAY. LORD SALISBURY defers a settlement of the seal business after the manner of Pomp, who stands below the hen-roost to receive the poultry clutched by Sam. “Am dis right?” says Sam.“ Dat," says Pomp promptly, “am a great moral quesshun dat we can’t stop to argy now. Hand down HE DIDN'T RENEW HIS ATTENTIONS. anoder chicken.” During the long Behring-sea controversy the seals have Covsix Jack—"'I see that my old sweetheart, Cora Flirty, is j been undergoing the process of extinction, and apparently Lord Salisbury much a devotee of fashion as ever. likes it: Mase (who doesn't like her)—'' Yes, indeed; she has samp! every year's new style of engagement-rings ever since you went away !" RINCE GEORGE of Wales has two privileges — one to draw seventy-five thou- sand dollars a year and the other to have contempt for the workers and the shop- keepers who contribute it. ‘THE JUDGE LIBRARY for April has exceptional merit. It is entitled “ Ante-Up.” and contains thirty-two pages of wit, humor and satire, all about poker. Costs ten cents; big hand, large pot. S4QNLY A FAMILY ROW,” says Hill, speaking of the results of the town elections. More than that, David. It’s a complete divorce and every child left to shift for itself. ACCORDING to the St. Louis Globe- Democrat, Gen- eral Butler is troubled with ossification of con- science. One might as well say that cats are bothered with rheumatism of soul. GERRYMANDER gave Rochester several new wards and the Republicans carried every one of them. We don’t recall any recent humor that in- volves such a sweet surprise. MBS: OSBORNE stole jewelry and then lied about AT THE NIGHT-TOWN SEWING-CIRCLE. and goes to prison for nine months, not for the Miss Catnoun (to Mr. Clay, who has been Tincerisg to A MAN Wio Maxes Grave Stealing, but for the perjury. Moral—No matter how RGES much you steal, always tell the truth about it. frough wi' dat air—trough ! comicbooks.com