Judge — March 26, 1892 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE E-pousLe-S! HEN | was young and hopeful And longed for fame T vowed that I would win me A poet's name, And my effusions, fired With sentiments inspired, My family admired, And my- self same! the “Twas after years of toiling ‘And weariness ‘There waited just before me ‘A high success. But ere the world could know it Our evening paper—oh, it Did write me down a poet an E- s! double- The literary strugglers count A member less; For what reward has genius Or what redress? I'll wipe my children’s noses, I'll mend my husband's hoses, But my dream of glory closes With an E- s! double- SIRS, GEORGE ARCHIBALD. A SAYING. “BEFORE you go to wat pray once; be- fore you go to sea pray twice; before you get married pray MYTHOLOGICAL FIREARMS, three times. Miss Giopy—"' I wonder what kind of weapons the ancient Amazons fought with?" Prorrssox Cxanne—"Oh, powder and a bang, T A-H-H! fancy—just like their modern sisters.” PAIR of braceléts make an appropriate farewell gift to your lady-love when she departs on a tour of Europe. They are most suitable for two-wrists. ENOUGH TO GO AROUND. er—"| am putting down a carpet and I want two packages of HOW PROFESSOR TANGENT WAS HELD UP. He was prospecting for fauna in the Yellowstone park and left the wagon to examine a strange shrub some distance from the trail “I think you will find one package will be enough.” Customer—"That's all right. I want the other for my feet.” A KINDRED FE! a | WONDER why tt is,” home in a caliker shirt LING, aid the tramp, “that I allus feels most at A GRADUATE IN PHYSIOGNOMY. Bunco-steerer—"Don't you remember me, sir?” “T know,” replied his partner. “I's c von't wash.” Apparent hayseed—" Nour face is certainly familiar; but I have just ow.” replied his partner. “It's cos it won't wash. ees E 3 C4 site pho- HIS INTEREST AT STAKE. composite phe tograph of the rogues’ gallery, and that ace Cob —"1 suppose you're looking forward to Easter with a great deal of pleasurable anxiety?” Rev. Dr. Primrose indeed. It depends altogether upon the counts for it.” number of marriages in congregation whether | go to Europe or spend the summer in Jers THE GUEST OBJECTED. Hoteluclerk— Front, fire out, forty-seven. Front (a few minutes later, face damaged and collar gone)—* Forty- seven says he won't be fired.” THE PLAINT OF THE PENURIOUS. Till world is but a fleeting show ; Admission 's free, no doubt. Rut, goodness gracious! how it costs Refore a man gets out NATURALLY. Teacher —" What did Samson do after he lost his hair?” Johnnie Vaples—" He bought a front-row ticket for the ballet.” AT THE TURKISH BATH. ATTENDANT—"' Perspiring freely, sah?" PaTieNt—"* Perspi: Gad ! you could float toy-ducks on me.” LOW AND BASE! comicbooks.com