Judge — March 26, 1892 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A RUDE AWAKENING. MARCH thirty-first my pleasant couch T sought. I dreamt she came in purest white arrayed And kissed my cheek. I dreamt that unafraid She vowed besides my love she cared for naught. With such delight the happy hours were fraught, Her gentle speech so witched me, lovely maid, T felt I dwelt in Arcady and prayed That naught would end the rapture that she wrought. Thereafter sweetest songs she sung to me And tales of deep devotion we rehearsed, And, willing subjects of Dan Cupid's rule, Our days in love-land passed most merrily. ‘Ab, from such dreams to wake on April first And find the walls all crying “April fool !" NATHAN at, LAY, A NEW SIGNIFICANCE. She—" I've often heard of the almighty dollar, but why should we call it so?" Because there's only seventy-five cents’ worth of silver in it it can buy a dollar's worth.” HER SUCCESSOR. Jonrs—"'I see you have a new stenographer. Is Miss Blicker married?" Jackson —"' That's just the trouble.” Jones —* Well, you did a good thing to get a man in her pl: These pesky girls get married as soon as they get a good situatior Jackson—"'T thought it advisable to get a man, and Miss Blicker insisted upon Jones —"" But wasn’t it a little out of her sphere to dictate as to her successor ? JACKSON —"*I married her.” AFTER THE WEDDING. S+YVELL, I hope they'll go forever side by side.” “No, they won't. It'll be tandem and she'll lead.” WAS NOT LEFT. When the Sisseton Indians were paid the money due them from the gov- ‘ernment, the different “ prominent citizens” of each faction raced to the nearest town and bought up everything in the shape of a wheeled vehicle they could find, driving in every direction, whooping and yelling. One old chief was a little late, and when he got to town, the only thing on wheels left was the hearse. He didn’t hesitate, but planked down the price, loaded the papooses in, got on to the front seat with his squaw, and galloped away to join the celebration, the envy of his redskin comrades. A DAMAGING RUMOR. SCTHEY say Tennyson's milk-route is to be discontinued through lack of patronage.”” “ What was the matter?” “Some of his consumers got hold of the idea that he diluted the milk with water from the Pierian spring.” A SPRING POEM. THE POET sent what he described as “just a litle thing "— A brief and modest poem he had chanced to write on spring. The editor accepted it ; he smiled and never swore. It was about the automatic spring that shuts the door, PLENTY OF MATERIAL. Tell those people in the parquet to come up to the balcony ‘ircle. They will have a little time to cool off while we are WARNED! re-paving the pit.” Cuotty (fo his aunt from the country) —" If you will, aunt, I will take “Where is the material to come from ?”” you to Wall street to-daj AuNT WAYHACK —" Ves: but take that thar red necktie offen you or you'll s —"They've recently had another first of January down on have all them thar bulls after you I've read about.” earth, haven't they? comicbooks.com