Judge, 1892-02-13 · page 10 of 16
Judge — February 13, 1892 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects several humorous vignettes satirizing courtship, love letters, and Valentine's Day customs among upper-class Americans circa the 1880s-90s. **Main narratives:** "Lost by a Valentine" depicts two rivals—Van Smythe and Pennoyer—competing for Miss Madge Tinkle's affection. Van Smythe sends a romantic valentine, but Pennoyer intercepts it, replaces it with a crude "hideous comic valentine," and mails it in Van Smythe's name, sabotaging his proposal attempt. **Supporting items** mock Valentine's Day itself: women finding modern valentines inferior to older ones; men afraid to confess love through sealed letters; a dynamo/anarchist joke (obscure reference). **"The Clerk's Revenge"** depicts an employer firing a clerk Saturday morning; the clerk gets drunk at a lodge; returns Sunday hungover; the employer, suspicious but lacking proof, can't definitively blame him—circumstantial evidence only. The humor targets romantic miscalculation, class anxieties, and the consequences of scheming among idle wealthy men. All are light domestic satire typical of Judge's era.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
RSS SYMPATHETIC EFFECTS, Jenny —"* Why didn’t you recognize Mr. Bagley too, Marjory?” Matjony —" ile showed the Wall-strect stringency too plainly in his gait. Money has been tight for a month, my dear.” LOST BY A VALENTINE. SCENE—Untion League club reading-room., VAN SMYTHE —"Gad! this litle valentine is a beauty. How delighted the dear girl will be! I'm deuced sorry I can’t be there just when she receives it. If I proposed then it's two to one she'd throw herself into my arms and ask me to speak to papa. Ha, ha! that cad Pennoyer won't be in it with me after to-morrow.” (Addresses envelope to Miss Madge Tinkle.) ‘Confound it! I came precious near undoing the whole business. I must let her guess who sent it. Let me sce. I guess I'll take a run over to Tedford’s and have him address it for me.” (Throws envelope in basket and goes out. A moment later Pennoyer enters, sces Madge’s name on the envelope and picks it up.) Pennoyer (musing) —" So Van Smythe is boasting among the boys that he cut me out, ch? Iowonder what he was writing to Madge, anyhow? He seems to have changed his mind. Well, literary work was never much in his line. Sending her some nonsense, I'll bet.” (Jumps up suddenly and joyfully.) “By Jove! to-morrow is Valentine's day. I have it. Ha, ha! It’s a rather mean thing to do, I know; but then all's fair in love and war, they say. It’s a pretty even-up thing between us regarding Madge, and it would be almost suicidal in me not to take advantage of the opportunity chance has thrown in my way.” “(Goes out, buys a hideous comic valentine, incloses it in the envelope Van Smythe threw away and mails it to Miss Tinkle.) 1.4. O'connmut, GETTING SQUARE. MAILED her such a valentine I'm sure she will resent it; But still this consolation 's mine, She doesn't know I sent it. NATURALLY. Mn Quericus —" What is Miss Autumn's opinion of Mie valentines ?” bottle. Cynicus —"She doesn’t think they make as nice é ‘ones as they used to years ago.” cae yet to BETTER FACE THE MUSIC. with h Young Bashful—"Why wouldn't you advise me Nets to tell her my love in a valentine?” . Rounder —" Because gitls don't know enough y y about business to consider sealed proposals.” WHAT IT IS COM St. Perer—"' You can't come i DYNAMITER e me a front seat and a harp or I'll wreck the place THE CLERK'S REVENGE; OR, A CASE OF CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE. } i 2,—Saturda} with old Foggy. 1.—Saturday, ten a.m.—'* Young man, your services will be no longer required after to-day.” 4-—Sunday, three a.m.—" Back from the lodge (hic), my dear.” $.—Sunday, eight a.m,—"* Well—I—never y | | Saturday, one p.m.—' re day.” 3. off for the i comicbooks.com