Judge, 1892-01-09 · page 6 of 17
Judge — January 9, 1892 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains multiple brief satirical sketches mocking Victorian courtship, marriage, and social conventions: **"We Must Part"** and **"All Lost Save Honor"**: Mock romantic drama and marital infidelity. The latter jokes about a man engaged to multiple women by claiming Mormon conversion—likely referencing contemporary anti-Mormon sentiment and polygamy anxieties. **"Going Through the Tunnel"**: A suggestive sketch about newlyweds' behavior during a train tunnel, implying they kiss in darkness. The humor relies on Victorian prudishness about public displays of affection. **"Perfectly Safe"**: A cynical joke about calling someone a liar when they're unavailable to retaliate. **"A Natural Doubt"**: St. Peter at heaven's gates demands a "doctor's certificate" that a soubrette (theater performer) is actually dead—mocking actresses' reputations and uncertain morality. **"A Sure Cure"** and other sketches: Mock domestic complaints and social pretension. Overall, the page satirizes Victorian courtship rituals, marital dynamics, and class-consciousness through exaggeration and wordplay.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WE MUST PART. 4, IS better we should part, I think ; don’t you? It will not break your heart ; so go, now do, And at some future time let's hope to meet As we have done to-day, in this same seat. But we must part, my love, so please away. ‘The sun now sinks to rest ; ‘tis close of day, ‘And papa’s coming soon ; so we must part Till to-morrow afternoon, Good-bye, sweetheart. AS CLARK. ALL_LOST SAVE HONOR. She—"1 find, sir, that you are engaged to three girls besides me. As a man of honor can you explain that ?” He— Yes; | forgot to tell you that I am a Mormon convert.” SHE SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL. Mrs. Meddergrass—* Ob, Nathan, I've run a big nail into my foot !” Farmer Meddergrass—* There you go again! And nails four and a half cents a pound, too!” PERFECTLY SAFE. ‘an you safely call him a liar?" Honsox —"* Weil, I should say so. He's in Europe and will not return for three years." GOING THROUGH THE TUNNEL, No. 1. They had gotten in a few stations further up the road, and were evidently a y-married pair on their wedding-trip. went through the tunnel this is what the passengers heard : SWEET PEMALE VOICE love its lady dove? MALE Voice (in protest)—"* Dare ling!" “Does it VERT FEMALE voIce—"* But I aven't had a kiss since early this morn- let your daughter sing this afternoon ? Lavy (much pleased) —" Why, certainly. ‘Tell your mis- tress that Iam glad she enjoys it.” SWEET FEMALE vorce—'I don't No. 2. SERVANT —"' Yes, mum, She expects a visit from the land- care, I'm going to have as many kisses lord this afternoon, an’ she wants some excuse for askin’a re- as I want. “Kiss its sweety sweet. Oh, Just then the tunnel came to an abrupt termi- duction in rent. how I love nation, and this is what the passengers saw. Remember where Si A NATURAL DOUBT. 68 \YVJHAT is your name? Ww rival at the gate. “Viola Flimsyfluff, sir.” “ How did you occupy your time on earth?” “Soubrette, sir.” “Soubrette?” mused St. Peter. “Suppose, Viola, you go back and get a doctor's certificate that you're dead.” HER WAY OF SAYING IT. Miss Bleecker (of New York)—" Did you hear that Mr. Gurley was short in his accounts?” Miss Emerson (of Boston) —" Yes; I learn that his computations are somewhat abbreviated.” Mrs, WINTERBLOOM— ** My poor husband suffers ter- ribly with headaches. Does A STICKLER FOR FORMALITY. yours?” Mas, VAN Twitter —* He Snooper —"If you saw the gentleman drop the did, but he doesn’t any more. bank-note why did you not restore it to him?” ipl: MINTER BLOOM Ag Jaysmith—"We had never been introduced to for him?” apes each other, and I felt a delicacy about addressing him.” Ms. van Twi id St. Peter to the ar- A SURE CURE. eR (complacently)—""1 made him resign from the club.”