Judge, 1892-01-09 · page 5 of 17
Judge — January 9, 1892 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short satirical vignettes typical of Judge magazine's humor style: **"A Literary Type"** mocks struggling writers—a garret-dwelling poet who fears starvation but paradoxically succeeds by writing without a plot, satirizing both artistic pretension and commercial success. **"Her Vocation Exactly"** ridicules women lecturers, suggesting they succeed merely by talking continuously without substance—a gendered jab at female public speakers. **"The Healing Art"** jokes about a doctor whose specialty is autopsies (diagnosing only dead patients). **"Wanted Half-Hose"** presents a dark humor joke: a woman seeking half-hose for her one-legged husband. **Other items** include humor about spiritualist séances failing, anti-tank club celebrations, and a wealthy man fleeing the city to avoid being targeted for ransom by "cranks and bum-throwers." The cartoons reflect late Victorian/Edwardian social anxieties about modern institutions, professions, and urban crime, while employing period-typical satirical stereotypes.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE 23 A LITERARY TYPE, E SAT ina garret and chewed on his pei He looked at the ceiling and eyed it agai And he wailed in a voice that was piteous, In the name of my muse will I do for a plot? What “Must I sit here and starve? No; my bread shall be earned. I'll write on without—if I don’t I'll be durned !" So, plotless, he plodded ; the words scattered rife, And straightway he made the great hit of his life. FHILANDER €. JOHNSON. HER VOCATION EXACTLY. “ Do you know, I have decided to become a lecturer.” You don’t say !"" Miss Flypp—"Nes. Just think! All one has to do is to go on the A rostrum and just talk and talk and talk.” AN IMPORTANT QUESTION. Mrs, Gazzam—* Dear mother isn't herself to-day. George.” Gazzam—" Indeed! Who is she THE HEALING ART. Pringle Young Decco: Nexle tell: te that'in bi specialty he has RASIGHTED CAR-DRIVER (as Hooley is bidding his dear old mother good- never made a mistake in diagnos — bye) —"*Ver can't take a big bundle like that on th’ car, Hire an express! Secundus —* What's his specialty— autopsies ? G'lang G. WANTED HALF-HOSE. S*LTAVE you any half-hose for gentlemen?” she asked. “No, madam; but we have "— began the salesman. “Don't want anything else,” she answered. “My husband has only one leg. THE SPICE OF LIFE. ILS world, they say, to wag away Must have all sorts of people Though but one God, we'd think it odd If there were but one steeple. WIDOW’S WEEDS AND FLOWERS. He—"You say Mrs. Willow is in half-mourning for her hus- band She—" Yes." He—Why, she was at the opera last night with Bartley in a Nile-green silk.” She—"Yes; but she stays at home and wears black every other day.” ENTHUSIASTIC IN A GOOD CaU Sie —"* The exhibition those men are making of themselves is enough to disgust any decent man, True, my dear; but they are members of the Anti-tank club celebrating the great discovery of bichloride of gold.” EXTREME REGULARITY. ¢6]5 Mike a good worker?” “Oh, yess fair.” “ Regula “Regular as clock-work. Strikes every hour.” MINCE PIE. IX the fruit and mince the meat ; Add rum for strength and sugar for sweet, And let the crust be rich and thin; And then, to have it all complete, Just cram a lively nightmare in, CABINET TALK. Stranger —' You advertised a LOOKING OUT FOR HIMSELF, spiritualistic seance here to-night, eR—"'T see. by der paper dat yer goin’ t' leave der | but the house is dark.” city—goin’ south t spend der winter.” ree ; WANDERING WILLIAM —"" Yes a person of my wealth an’ position __ Manager—"Ves; the meditim jy society is not safe here wid all dese cranks an’ bum-throwers runnin | BELOW TIE MARKET-PRICE. failed to materialize. loose. I received several letters'dis mornin’ askin’ fer a million each,” comichook: