Judge — 1891 — page 48: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DURING THE FLORIDA HONEYMOON. Mrs. Winpram—"' I wonder what they are all doing at home to day !"" . Mr. Winprast (pensively)—"' Enjoying themselves, T hope, (7 himself.) Uf thai father-in-law of mine isn’t at the bank protecting my last thirty-day note, we go home by freight, c. 0. 1.” AN ESSAY ON EARS. Some folks have ears and can’t hear, and some have them and Folks have cars and so have clams and oysters. Corn also won't. Some again hear everything, and more, too. If my ears has ears and even walls have them. There is one nice, polite are hearing aright, that’s Maria in the next room, whacking my thing about a wall—he never tells on a fellow. I say “he” little fac-simile, and yelling to me to stop quilling and go to because a wall makes me think of a man in this respect. Clams bed, and—I'll stop right ‘ear. and oysters don't tell all they know either. Who ever heard of tonm L ons. aclam listening to what a couple of oysters were gossiping about and running to tell all of his relations that one of them had a ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. Miss Mannattay—Do you consider marriage a failure, Mrs. Lyvewayt?" Mrs. Lyvewayr (of Chicago)—“ Of course I don't. If it were not for marriage, how could there be such a thing as divorce?” pearl and was trying to sell if off on shares? No one ever heard of such a thing. Why, you have to cut a clam’s ears clean open to get him to shell out anything at all; and it’s just so with oysters. As to folks, their ears run in different sizes. If you see a man with little, economical ears hugging up close to the les of his head, chalk him down as stingy. Big ears are the symptoms of generosity. Such an individual will give you his peace of mind, give you all his bad debts, give warning; in fact give his wife away, his heart is so crammed with the overflow- ing liquid of generosity. Big ears are good some- times when the wind blows, acting as sails. I am ac- quainted with a man who hires himself out every summer to the proprietor of a boat-house. He just seats himself in the equator of a row-boat, with his face to the wind, and away she goes, One day he was going with such force he ran into a steam yacht, cut her in two, and came out on the other side without scratch- ing the paint off his boat. Here’s a conundrum, I never made one before. When does a lady's head contain a party? Give it up? Allright. When she has a gathering in her ear. STRAWS SHOW, ETC. Visirox TO GALLERY—"'T suppose the senator irom Kentucky is composing a speech, See how pensive he look Tue SENATOR (to page)—"* Don't take it away, sonny You can fill her vp sgain in a minute.” Corn has pretty honor- able sort of ears. Imagine corn peaching on a squash ! He'd pull his yellow hair close down over his ears, and grow dry and husky before he'd do such a thing. LYNN Sat no success at all reach I ever felt,” THE LAST SAD BLOW, the tramp, who has been begging old shoes with Dummed if that cobbler ain't got th’ longest lee- comicbooks.com