Judge — 1891 — page 38: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE DRUMMER KICKED HIMSELF. A very handsome young married lady boarded a train on the Pennsylvania railroad the other day, followed by acorpulent negress carrying the lady’s baby. The car was nearly full, every seat having at least one occupant and most of themtwo. The nurse and her charge found a seat witha little girl while the lady went forward, seeing the half of two seats disengaged. In one was a half-grown youth, and in the other a drummer dressed in the best the clothing emporiums could fur- nish, The commercial traveler and the boy saw the lady at the same moment, but the lat- ter was the first to attract her attention and offer his seat. “You take this seat ma'am,” he said politely, “and I'll sit with the man behind.” The lady thanked him, but when the youth essayed to sit with the drummer, he was gruffly told that the seat was engaged. The JUDGE’S ANNUAL. BRUIN AND THE BAA-BA, A GRATUITOUS FOOD ADVERTISEMENT man was cross at failing to secure so fair a seat-mate. Then the lady made room for the boy on the seat he had given her. Presently she leaned back, and with a most bewitching smile, asked the commercial traveler if the other half of his seat were occupied. “No, madam,” he replied eagerly; ‘ you are welcome to it.” “Oh, I don’t want it for myself,” she re- joined as she beckoned to her nurse, who in- stantly came forward and jammed herself into the seat beside the drummer; “I only wanted my baby close to me.” About that time the man remembered that he had an urgent engagementat kicking him- self in the smoking-car. HER DEFINITION OF IT. “Frankness, my dear, consists in repeating all the disagreeable things one has ever heard about one’s friends.” comicbooks.com