Judge, 1891 · page 10 of 69
Judge — 1891 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge magazine contains multiple short satirical pieces and cartoons typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"What It Will Come To"** depicts anxieties about women's independence—the joke is that an unmarked (unbranded) woman talking to a man is noteworthy and scandalous, suggesting women should be marked like cattle. **Various one-liners** mock everyday absurdities: milkmen extending credit, judging character, and a dark ballad about a boy who causes an old man's injury and goes to jail. **"A Quick Lunch"** shows waiter humor and a tall man too large for standard coffins—dark Victorian comedy about physical extremes. **The final conversation** satirizes military appointments through irony: a cowardly Colonel was promoted, and his only "fighting" is with his wife—mocking both nepotistic patronage and martial discord as domestic comedy. The humor relies on class commentary, physical comedy, and cynicism about institutions typical of Gilded Age satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FUNNY THINGS FROM JUDGE. / \NB Parnrons WHAT IT WILL COME TO. Miss Desriatnes—* Who's that talking to Mr. Dosset?” Miss Beenrox—"' I'm sure I don't know. Can't amount to much. I notice she isn’t branded. Of all the men in the world, never ask your milk-man to “chalk it up.” Never judge a man by his umbrella. He may have taken somebody else’s—by mistake. An original, wild, weird ballad—warbled by M. P. Diddle, Esq., before the Society for the Prevention of Nown-town Street Travel: ‘The shades of night were falling O'er the City of New York, Asa boy emerged from his dwelling, Eating a piece of pork, He sat him down on a hydrant— ‘The cold he did not mind— And sat he there and a But threw anay the rind. An old man chanced to pass that way— 1am now at the end of my For the'old man busted his collar bone, And the boy he tent to jail. An unequal match: That which strikes The moral shows us all too plainly that _-—— hogs and Steam-Heating Companies de- serve to be suppressed. Fixst warrer—‘ Heah comes dat cust'mer ob yourn whad's always in a hurry fer a san'wicher.” SxcoND WAITER—"* Umpah ! I see um, A QUICK LUNCH. Custromer—** Here you are !——thanks !" 1 only on the box. Lived too long: The man who, when he died, couldn’t get a ready-made coffin to fit his six feet ten proportions, We regret to learn that the Sultan of Turkey has become so extremely weak that it is impossible for him any longer to get up alone, or a loan—spell it either way you please. Conversation (overheard)—First Speaker — And so Colonel — has been appointed to office, ch?" Second Speaker—“T have heard so." First Speaker—“ Was it on ac- count of his war record?” Second Speaker —“ Really, my friend, are you joking? You know as well as I that the Colonel is a coward.” First Speaker—* But, then, with whom has he fought?” Second Speaker— “With his wife.” comicbooks.com