Judge — December 19, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MY QUEEN. Y QUEEN wears a calico gown, And apron as white as the snow; Her eyes are bewitchingly brown, And when she looks at me just so My heart swells with tenderest joy To see her so lovely and sweet, And though I am only a boy, I pour out my love at her feet. My queen with her own precious hands She knows that I love her—my queen— ef Works cheerily all the day long, I've told her so many a time; ty) And well my dearione understands But oh, in her heart does she dream How to lighten her labor-with song. How, always, she dwells in my mind? The happiest soul on the earth My queen in her calico gown, Shines out through her bright, loving face, With apron as white as the snow— And music and laughter and mirth I worship those tender eyes brown, Hold her in their joyous embrace. But then—she’s my mother, you know ! MARRIRT PRANCRNR CROCKER, THAT SOUNDS BETTER. Coy! SORRY I can’t lend you that five dollars you want,” said Miss Bleecker to her Boston friend, Miss Emer- son, “but the fact js I’m dead_ broke.” “I'm very sorry that we are both fatally’fractured at the same time,” replied Miss Emerson. SOME NEEDED INVENTIONS. A SANTA CLAUS that won't make children jealous. ‘A drum that no one can hear except the boy who beats it. Tin soldiers that won't get massacred in the first pitched battle, A sleeping-potion to keep the children asleep while the stockings are being filled. A bob-sled that will upset the small boy instead of the nurse-girl with the baby-carriage. A common-sense apparatus that will keep people away when you've caught a pretty girl under the mistletoe. ‘A law to prevent a woman from buying her husband a lovely meerschaum pipe for a quarter or a box of fine Havana cigars for a dollar. ~ Jasns JAY o'conNaLt. A PACKAGE FROM TIE EAST. FowLe (originally from Boston) —'* Well, U'll be everlastingly punched!” Noviston (his partner) —"* News from home?” Fow.e—''T should say sof T wrote mother that we were going to attend a Piute wedding and she's sent two plug hats and some lavender gloves, with an injunction to keep up our John-Hancock dignity or die." WHERE IS HE? THERE are joys we do not know Because we've never had ‘em. Christmas eve comes once a year, But never Christmas Adam. ase NOT UP TO THE STANDARD. Trivvet —"Mr. and Mrs. Einstein are going - to celebrate their golden wedding next week.” A SELFISH PARTNER. Dicer—" Nonsense! ‘They've been married only FAMISHING GRRAVES (ou/side) —"' Struck der silver-closet, forty years.” Dave?” : foe Nora k Harpy Davin (inside) —"" No. Skip quick! Dey’s an’ old Trévvet—"\ know. You see the gold will be pirg asleep in here, an’ he looks like he might git right.off his HANDS WANTED. abeut twenty carats fine.” bunk any minute.” comicbooks.com