Judge, 1891-12-05 · page 11 of 52
Judge — December 5, 1891 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a sentimental illustrated poem rather than a political cartoon. It depicts a confirmed bachelor preparing for a Christmas party, shown in the photograph mending his own clothes with difficulty. The satire targets bachelor life: the man struggles with domestic tasks (threading needles, mending rags) that a woman would handle effortlessly. As he works, he nostalgically contemplates a woman he knows—"her little hand" would complete such work gracefully. The poem's irony is that this supposedly independent "man who brags / Of single blessedness" actually longs for female companionship. By poem's end, he hopes this Christmas gathering might lead to romance: "Perhaps she'll mend up life for me / Before next Christmas eve." The piece gently mocks bachelor pretensions while celebrating traditional domesticity and courtship—typical Judge magazine fare combining humor with conventional social values.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CHRISTMAS - PARTY, and, no doubt, A loaded Christmas-tree And girls and boys and toys. What do the: And yet her little friendly note Declares—thrice underlined— T must not fail. She's always sweet and kind. Ill thread a needle—if I can— (Iam the man who brags Of single blessedness !) and see If I can't mend these rags. This thread's too coarse; or else, perhaps, My needle is too slim. The light is poor; or it may be My sight is getting dim. THE and noise; want with me? Well, well, I won't! Great Why were men’s fingers only made To drag and thump and jerk ? I'm thinking how Aer little hand Would get around this work! And how she'd smile and bite her thread, And look so wise and calm, And—there! I've stabbed my finger through ! Ob, what an ass I am! . FROM A PICTURE BY F. T, HARMON, jet me see. Thad not thought Upon my wardrobe’s stat I must look up my evening vest— By Jove! it's rather late To rummage for a satin tie And fish out gloves to match. ‘ott! my best shirt’s at the wash And this one needs a patch. The clock ticks on, I must make haste, Since she desires—alas For those lost opportunities Our thoughtless youth let pass But, as she’s single still, who know Some joys we may retrieve. Perhaps she'll mend up life’ for me Before next Christmas eve. MADELINE 5. BRIDGES, | comicbooks.com