Judge — November 21, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE A PAIR OF NEW SHOES, LOVELY WOMAN. SHE may contend that white is black, Her prattle may be jargon; Perhaps she cannot drive a tack, But she can drive a bar- gain, ROUGH ON GOSLIN. Amy—* Why do you smoke so much, Mr. Goslin?” Gostin —“ A man thinks when he smokes, doncher know.” Amy —"Yes; but why do you smoke so much?” JUST THE SAME. Mrs, Bingo—"1 was get- ting off the car to-day when my gown came near being caught.” Bingo—" Was it caught Mrs, Bingo—" Not exactly; but I guess I shall have to have a new one.” SHANTYTOWN COURTESIES. Mrs. Motowey— ‘Will yez lind me one av yure flat-irons, Mrs. PROFIT. Casey? Me husban’ used up me lasht one in an argymint wid ould School-teacher —“ Bobby, O'Toole.” ae . Mrs, Casey —"* Wid pleasure, Mrs. Moloney. Oi’m always willin’ you may define “profit.” 45 nelp eny tonest work Ilke clanin’ clothes or poundin’ this hateful Bobby (whose father is a O'Tosles!™ i druggist) —" Four hundred per cent.” BILLINGTON WENT TO THE WEDDING. ‘¢] AM a patient’ woman,” said Mrs. Billington, “and I can endure much in silence, but this ends all; this is the straw that breaks the camel's heart,” and she buried her face in her hands and sobbed bitterly. “What on earth is the matter now?” said Mr. Billington, as he pushcd aside his coffee-cup and clawed some crumbs out of his whiskers. “And you have the hardihood to ask that?” cried Mrs. Billington. “Do you think I am blind? Do you think I never get hold of a news- paper? You were in Philadelphia on business last Thursday—very im- z portant business. Oh, yes! And pray why don’t you take your dress Bi Skee! eS oe suit with you when you sneak off that way to attend a swell wedding? igh T'knew what to do this When you go into society where you would be ashamed of your wife you afternoon.” ought to be ashamed to wear a hired dress suit. I dare say you bought SECOND cockxoacit — a bushel of flowers, but of course you never can afford to buy any for Sock insect-powder”” me. Oh, Harry, I never thought it would come to this !" Mr. Billington had been mystified at first, but now he saw what was the matter and laughed until the tears ran down his cheeks. “You hardened wretch!" exclaimed Mrs, Billington, holding a Philadelphia paper bal Iii Before her husband's face. “ Pert orric “You were at that wedding. 4 ue i periment | There is your name in plain 4 my letters. - You presented the y > bride’ and groom an elegant Ky 7 { | tea-set. Can you deny that?” “I don’t deny anything,” said Mr. Billington, “Sam was the best head-waiter I ever knew. The patrons of the house all liked him. He was married in one of the ho- tel parlors, and a party of us chipped in fifty cents apiece for a tea-set, which I was re- quested to present to the happy couple.” “Is that all? And didn’t A POINT IN HIS FAVOR, USS MEDC Jaysmith—" V'm going to sue the Howler grooms are apt to be jeal- for libel. It called me a thief.” ous.” ‘Me Watly—“ But papers are allowed to “Colored! Oh, my!" ASKING A FAVOR. print the news, you know.” Then Mrs. Billington put her Auntie Buxsay—" Be you th’ postmaster ?" Jaysmith—* But that isn't news.” arms around her husband's MMRRV ANI COTES pa ame i ; Auxtix, Buxsuy —"* Here’s a letter t! my darter in Phillydelphy. When ‘McWatty—“True enough. Everybody neck and cried some more. you git over there t day, an’ hand it t her, tell her I'm comin’ nex’ week, knows it now.” wmavey surrn tower, fergot to write it, an’ hate t’ tear th’ envelope.” : i comicbooks.com