Judge, 1891-11-21 · page 6 of 18
Judge — November 21, 1891 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects short humorous anecdotes and jokes typical of late 19th-century *Judge* magazine. The sketches satirize everyday social situations: **"A Practical Joke"** depicts men passing around a cigar, each claiming expertise as a "judge" to avoid honest criticism—poking fun at social pretense. **"Sugar is Cheap"** mocks grocer-fraud urban legends; a customer notes sand adulteration is too expensive to bother with, deflating the sensational scandal. **"Exit Smith"** contains a classical reference: Diogenes searches for an honest man; the joke plays on "walkers" (removable pallbearers) and mosquito netting over graves—absurdist humor. **"Instructing a Tenderfoot"** stereotypes Western frontier violence. An inexperienced traveler learns bullet holes in a saloon bar supposedly came from a "picnic party"—exaggerating the Old West's lawlessness for comedic effect. Most jokes rely on wordplay, social pretension, or exaggeration rather than specific political content. The page reflects middle-class Victorian humor values.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE OUTCOME OF T'll have a nice lit- Do! “Smith, I would like your joke on Smith. Here’saloaded opinion of this cigar. I know you are a cigar for him. Ha, ha!” judge.” HE DIDN’T NEGOTIATE. S6\JHAT do you mean by coming around here “now?” said the woman to the tramp who ap- peared at the kitchen-door. “You haven't half finished that pile of wood I gave you to split.” “1 know it, ma'am,” was the reply; “but I came to see if you wouldn't cash these few chips in ad- vance.” THE ENGAGING YOUNG MAN. LE SMILED at the alto in the choir And at the soprano grinned, While the tenor turned as red as fire And the basso got out of wind. PREPARING FOR HIM, Mrs. Cubbage—" The new minister said he would call this evening.” Cubbage—"Then you had better dust the bible and turn down a few corners of the leaves.” Dobbs tries it. take. RESPECT THAT WAS EARNED. S+YOU must honor your parents,” the Sunday-school superintendent said to the new boy. “I am sure you obey your mother.” “y " came the reply with an emphasis that rather startled the questioner. “And you and your little brother here always show her respect, don’t You bet we does. Why, she kin lick dad, she kin.” VERY SIMPLE. 66] CAN'T understand why a war between Russia and England should affect the stock-market.” “Simple enough. The stock-market fluctuates according to rows between bulls and bears.” EXIT SMITH. Diogenes —" Remember Smith who died in New Jersey? Looked in his coffin the other day and he'd skipped.” Napoleon —" Skipped! What are you givin’ me? A dead man hasn't any walkers. Diogenes —" Did, for a fact. They failed to put a mosquito-bar over his grave.” HE KNEW HIM. Fleecy —"Yes, sit; there is nothing like a thorough command of one’s self. I can smoke or let it alone, and drink or let it alone.” Downy—"Come over to Charley's and let one alone with me, Fleecy A COROLLARY. He—" It was love at first sight with them, was it?” She—" Yes.” He—* Then it must have been a bird's-eye view on his part, | suppose.” A PRACTICAL JOKE. SMITH (meeting Jenks) —"* Jenks, 1 Jenks (meets Dobbs) —* Dobbs, know you are a judge of good cigars. knowing you are an excellent judge Give me your opinion of this one,” of cigars, I would like you to pass upon this.” SUGAR IS CHEAP. + “THESE jokes about grocers putting sand in sugar make me weary,” observed Mr. Peck as he weighed out ten pounds. The truth hurts, does it?” “There's no truth in it. Sand’s too expensive to waste in that kind of style.” A CHRONICLE OF COURTSHIP. OF LOVE and naught else would he chatter ; He would often persist till near dawn, At first ‘twas ‘A truce to this matter !" A trousseau it was later on, A SAD ERROR. Trotter (cordially) — Hullo, old. man! Haven't seen you for some time. How are you?” Stranger —"1 think, sir, you have made a mis- I'm one of the keepers up at Sing Sing.” INSTRUCTING A TENDERFOOT. Lor pe Liverus (on Ais travels in the western states)—"* Your bar is polished nicely, me good fellaw; but what is the weason of all these holes filled with putty?” Wipcat But (running the Devil's Gulch inn)—" Pard, 1 pity, yer. Can't yer see they're jus’ the bullet-holes left by a picnic-party?” comicbooks.com