Judge — November 14, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ROMANCE AND DYE-STUFFS. HE SUMACH-TREE down by the rook, Grown crimson out of season, Is fair as when long since I took Sweet Maud down there and bravely shook Broad branches that had bees on. Shook down the bright leaves for her hair, The red cones for her bodice, Nor cared a copper though a pair Of goose-egg lumps fell to my share— “'Naught hurts,” quoth I, ** where Maud is.” Five years, and then again we sat Beneath the sumach's crimson. I plucked bright clusters for her hat And kissed her lips so warmly that She cried, "Now don’t, Jack Sim- son.” T loved her then. Now years have fled, ‘And Maud has wed a farmer. I saw her gathering sumach red This morning, and she quaintly * Jim thinks red shirts is warmer id, CAREFULLY ATTENDED TO. MERVEY SuIrTH TOMER. ‘THE NEW ASSISTANT KEEPER —''It wor so muddy, sor, O' Abe like th’ harses, t’ kape thot bag he wears on his nose clane."” ought Oi'd serve ould ALBERT EDWARD GETS IMPATIENT. 44 JOHN,” said the prince of Wales to his private sec- retary. "Yes, your royal highness.” “Telegraph to Pauncefote to send me a reign-maker immediately.” TO AVOID ERRORS. NEVER judge a maiden by the beauty of her hair; Never judge a chappie by his ever-vacant stare; Never judge a banker by the jingle of his change; Never judge a cook-maid by the blacking on the range; Never judge a landlord by the smallness of his rents; In fact, in all things keep your judgment ever in suspense. PROSAIC YET DRAMATIC. ‘ ses. the fellow you speak of is dead, Got stabbed in a bar-room fight.” “Poor Mawson! And what were his last words—of home?” “No. The last thing he said was ‘Ouch!"” STOCK-INDICATOR. An invention by which Mr. Lucre the millionaire, who has been ordered by his doctor to take long cartiage-rides, can watch the market and direct his business in Wall street. WHY HE HURRIED. ‘YES, SIR," said Swayback; “I am firmly convinced that the world is coming to an end next year. I'd like to stay longer and talk to you about it, but I must go now.” “ What's your hurry?” asked Hilow. “The premium on my life-insurance policy is due to-day before noon.” PARODIED FOR THE FUTURE. HEN the humid showers gather over all the starry spheres And the melancholy darkness gently weeps in rainy tears, ‘Then I find the roof a-leaking, and I think it mighty mean ‘Tha dad doesn't have it mended ere he shoots the rain-machine. nen A GOOD SCHEME. Mrs. Cumso (newspaper in hand) —““A movement is on foot to make drugs cheaper.” ‘Cumso—"Good enough! That will. bring sickness within reach of all.” AN EVERY-DAY DIVORCE QUESTION. N SOUTH DAKOTA. Hostess —" Mrs. Desturmis, allow me to present Mrs. Probasco.” 2 Mrs. Desturmis—"1 am delighted to meet Mrs. Probasco, De- A PRIOR INTERVIEW, sertion?” Had Mrs, Tradefree’s friends seen her be- ,,,,Dutt unfortunately the cus- Mrs, Probasco— Charmed to make the acquaintance of Mrs. Des- fore the ship landed they would have thought Yom-House authorities saw her turmis. No, my dear; habitual drunkenness.” her trip had done her worlds of good. noapic han held her she looked like this, comicbooks.com