Judge — October 3, 1891 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IN SEPTEMBER. “Vex not thou the poet's mind."— Tennyson, HITE sunlight trembles on the ragged ferns And on the fields of yarrow white as snow, And two pale butterflies—child-spirits—go Winging their ways. The maple forest burns Along the mountain-side—so red it turns The very air to crimson. Sweet and low The brooks go singing, loitering as they flow, And all the hollow stumps are rustic urns Heaped to their scalloped, brims with yellow leaves. + Across the pasture flames the golden-rod In graceful plumes. The fields have lost their sheaves ; ‘The tults shed their down ; the sod—the sod — Bother the sonnet! Who could find a rhyme, Vexed with the thought of “new fall-bonnet™ time? ELLA MIGGINSON, Z ey STOOD*BY IT. THE UNSETTLED HEN. + ¢YVHY, Mawson, this thermometer of yours lies. It is hot- Lirtix Bossy Nowten (making his first country visit)—"'l guess you made a ter than sixty degrees.” mistake when you said your hens had stopped layin’." aye ara . UNcte Henry —* Why, have you found an egg Jilmow thats my, boy s;butel gauge} my comfort by that Bonsy—"* You bet I have. Look 'r here—thirteen of *m, an’ all under one ole thermometer, so let her lie. speckled Brahma down back of th’ milk-house.” THERE FOR ANOTHER'S HEALTH. 6 ©\YVHAT do you do at the sea- WwW shore on wet days?” “Oh, the same as I do other days.” What's that?” “A. mixture of nothing and profanity.” A SURE SIGN. ‘HEIR house is happy ; joy galore Reigns ‘neath their family dome. T know it, for it never bore A framed “' God bless our home.” WOULD THIS BE THE CASE? Bunting —“ There is one ob- jection to the adoption of the legal profession by women.” Mrs. Bunting —* Name it.” Bunting —" When elevated to the bench a female jurist would Mr. Suppuns (tho has climbed the pole) —""T (A fraction of a second later)—"'S-say, Mister find it necessary to add postscripts blamed convenient, but I'm allus fergittin’ my matche: faces cise Mahia beaten hearin os to her opinions.” A GREAT SUBSTITUTE. * SO)WING to the scarcity of water and the plethora of converts,” said the Bap- tist clergyman at the conclusion of his sermon, “we will gather at the house of hose company num- ber eight, on Main street, this afternoon for the purpose of baptizing candidates. The baptism will be by hose in- stead of by immersion.” DON JUAN. THE man who's hard to suit, he Must needs be fond of strife, For he always sees the beauty In another fellow’s wife. NOBLE. (UT HAT was a sacrifice.” “What?” “Barton wouldn't go = bathing at Seabright because IN THE WRONG TORTUR M. he didn’t want people to Customer (as/he sinks into chair)—"'T tell yer, know he had a cork leg; but , STZ she aches terribl 3 Sr ah “ I stop it in a"— when a girl who'd snubbed A CALLER: Hold on! What you doin’ him was» thought to be Uncte Revs — y Inspectah Byrnes?” ing you ashampoo. Don't it feel zat THE INSPECTOR am," see aie Gets US Uncie Reus—" Well, sah, ef yo’ ain't too busy I wisht you'd Customr';—'*Feel_ good? Blame your eyes, I leg off and threw it out to inspect dis yer lump on my haid 'n tell me whuvver I'd bettah sue d’ thought yor ,sas a dentist! Lemme git up.’ > her, It sayed her life.” {eller fer murder ’r jess liftin’ wool.” comicbooks.com