Judge — September 19, 1891 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHY TOMMY GOT A WHIPPING. Tommy —"I don't think you are able to slide down those banisters, Uncle Bob. Uxcte Bos—"* Yes, Tommy ; I think I can slide down just as T used to thirty years ago.” GOT OFF WITH HIS LIFE. AS be entered the car he shouted, “I'm taking a political straw, gentlemen. What's your choice?” Some shouted “ Brick and still others *Shot-gun Just then a quict man stepped up and told the straw-taker that the car was full of fool- killers and the s. t. made a hasty exit. others “An axe,”” THE TANTALIZING FAIR. ALTHOUGH it seems to me you're ever carpin’, Your words appear to be much ont of joint ; For, like a poor lead-pencil we would sharpen, You never seem to come just to the point. EXEQUIAL. ‘ sYes, my brethren,” continued the memori- alizer, “in a single night was our dear friend torn from the arms of his young wife. What mourning involves her at the most flour- ishing age! Widowed at twenty-eight years!” “At twenty-six,” interrupted the widowed, emerging for an instant from her tears and sobs. “ Now that’s pretty good for a first attempt.” A DOUBLE-FACED SURPRISE. LiTtLe Wittre —"* There is grandpa asleep. 1 will have some fun with my new paints.”” ‘Tramp —'* Will you kindly help a poor cripple?” * Jeeru-sa-lem !" HIGHLY NECESSARY. | WONDER what Slimson keeps an office “for?” said a business man. “He never has anything to attend to down-town. “1 suppose,” was the reply, “he has to have some place to go while his wife gets the house- work off her hands.” A RISK. THE men who marry their chosen girls Are like the divers who leap in the sea; ‘They may perhaps find treasures and pearls, Or monsters they never had known to be. INFALLIBLE TEST. Primus —*\s he a man that keeps what he knows to himself?” Secundus—* lf you doubt it call on him for an after-dinner speech.” TAKES AFTER HIM. Ce D)OES young Carter take after his father, the colonel ?” “Yes, sah; he’s a poker-chip of the ole block, sah.” What I” comicbooks.com