Judge — September 5, 1891 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE THE OLD, OLD’ FASHION. [8 OLDEN days, when love proved fickle And cruel fate the heart op- pressed, Convenient Death came with his sickle And swept the broken flower to rest. It seemed to be enough that lovers Should wish to die—with faces hid ‘They laid them down among the clovers, Ss Or on their beds, and: die they did. But in these latter days degenerate, Ropes, poisons, dagger-points are sought ; Yet these means fail us oft—at any rate ‘They don't act always as they ought. Is it that Life grows more tenacious her fleeting house of clay? Or Death's grim maw much less rapacious, More fain to wait on nature's way ? Or is it that the tender passion Now comes and goes like idle breath, And laughing flouts the old, old fashion “That made love king of life and death? \ ere A “HAND-SOME” SCHEME, J. Wrexpte Wuorrer—"'I am going to star this season in a comedy- drama, and want to engage you to sit in the front row and do the encore.” A DISAPPOINTMENT. ‘D)ID she refuse you?” asked his friend. “No,” sighed the youth, “ but I thought she would.” HELD UP. E floor is very slippery,” she remarked when he asked her for a dance. “Do you think you could hold me if I should chance I guess so,” he faltered, dis: ed at the idea; then the light broke forth. Come out on the piazza,” he whispered, “and I can prac- tice for a while. HIS FORTE. 44] SUPPOSE, now that you are to enter college, you are anxious for the term to begi “Yes, indeed. I'm looking forward with great interest to my new duties. “Llike to hear a young man talk that way, It shows that he is going in to win. What do you anticipate will be your greatest forte?” “The cane-rush.” MAtD-oF-ALL-WoRK—''Th’ gent says as how he'd ruther have bacon an’ -akes than chicken. What made him change his mind?” "ole man goin’ out t’ th’ hen:coop with a buck-saw.” A TENDER SUBJECT. OW many people there are in the world with ridiculous notions !" said one passenger to another. “I know it,” replied the other; “and how they do thrust them on the public! I've laughed a good many times about i ie Th “Ha! ha! ha! So have 1. Now there's the sun-spot MAMAS man, for instance ™. “ Excuse me. cience is never ridiculous, I am the sun-spot man.” RIGHTEOUS RETRIBUTION. St. Peter (at the gate) —" Name, please !" Newly-arrived spirit —" David Dukkats. St. Peter (alter an inspection of the books)— You were a bank- cashier on earth ?” Spirit "Yes." THERE IS NOTHING LIKE SAFETY. St, Peter —"You may be all right, but you will have to be identified, op At for typeamener yon) WRY Mid you get that homely old guy Hawkspy (meekly) —"' I'm married !" comicbooks.com