Judge, 1891-08-29 · page 5 of 16
Judge — August 29, 1891 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical vignettes typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"A Nineteenth Century Tragedy"** (main story): Mocks hypochondriacs and hay-fever sufferers. A perfectly healthy man on August 14th wakes August 15th convinced he's dying—but it's merely seasonal allergies. The satire targets both the melodramatic overreaction to minor ailments and the Victorian tendency toward nervous complaint. **Other brief jokes** include: - "The Philanthropist": Criticizes performative charity—boasting about helping others while avoiding self-reliance - "Unfathomed Depths": A father-son exchange playing on surface vs. hidden knowledge - Political humor referencing **Senator Peffer** and **Senator Quay** (Kansas and Pennsylvania politicians) and VP Morton, joking about Kansas senators' prominence - Wordplay jokes about coats "wearing like iron" (cracking), biblical misquotation, and a dog-warning sign The illustrations show period working-class scenes. Overall, the page exemplifies Judge's mix of social commentary, political jabs, and light domestic humor aimed at educated, middle-class readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FouR TOImS DID O1 REFUSE HIM Wuen PatuRick CAME TO Woo, A NINETEENTH CENTURY TRAGEDY. brought him a fatal missive of a fall in the one stock he possesses ? [PON the fourteenth of August, in the fullness of health, with the bloom Surely he must have been through some frightful agony almost beyond of comparative youth upon his cheek and the fire of an unquench- ‘€ Power of mortal to endure to have changed so in one short night. able spirit in his eyes, with his thoughts active and his brain clear, he re- ls it—but it cannot be—ab, yes, it is—just that and nothing more. tired to his couch of peaceful rest. As he said good-night he remarked He is wrestling with his frst annual spasm of that recierché complaint— casually, “Never felt so well in my life. I tell you there needn't any d hay-fever. And as his mind gropes among | ES visions of all the deadly peptic pessimist propound that old chestnut to me, ‘Is life worth living ?"" Ho tbagt tes ea that may yet come to him he gasps out Upon the fifteenth of August he wakes after a desperaic struggle" «Tite is not worth the’ price. Let me perish ere another night shal! ea van swoop down, with its attendant stinging demons of unrest, upon my de- 2 ss voted nose—ah-chee—ker-chee—chew—chow—ow-——oh ! EE THE PHILANTHROPIST. HE formets not to boast what he does for his brother, Procuring him victuals and pelf; Though it's not half so hard to beg for another, He finds, as to beg for himself. UNFATHOMED DEPTHS. JONES and his son took the boat for Long Branch. “T never would have believed there was so much water,” observed young hopeful, gazing seaward from the iron pier. “And observe, my son,” observed his father, “that you see only what's on top.” “A POSSIBLE EPISODE. Senator Peffer —" Mr. President!” Senator Quay —" Mr. President!” Vice-president Morton —“ The senator from the state of Whiskers— I should say Kansas—has the floor.” REVERSING SCRIPTURE. Mrs, Bunting (near-sighted) —* What is the object of the notice on that tree?” MEANT WHAT IE SAID. Bunting (who sees that it reads “ Beware of the dog") —" It is put Harpur (indignantly) —"* You said this coat would wear like iron, there that he who'reads may run.” here it is all split up the back already.” Cor —"' Vell. don'd iron crack ? with some strange and over- whelming power that threatens to strangle him. Ilis cheeks are swollen and burning; his nose feels like an exaggerated ele- his mind can scarcely obey his will; his head is heavy as lead. What awful experience has he undergone during the night? Have burglars entered the quiet sanctuary of his chamber and eld him in a vicious and vise- like grasp while they compelled him to divulge to them where his wages for last week —all © was left of the evanescent re —were stored? Has some horrible happening in some branch of his family tree come to him like a flash by some mys- terious hypnotic power? Has UTILIZATION OF POWER. some fiendish messenger - boy they ain't no flies on old Chloe now, Julia.” comicbooks.co