Judge — August 22, 1891 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE AS IT OFTEN HAPPENS. OBERT and Algy and Jack and Ted, ‘They've promised truly—yes, every one— To follow wherever I go,” she said, “And so I am in for no end of fun.” But the very first night at the seaside fair She met a stranger and had a dance, And the rest of the men weren't anywhere, They simply hadn't the ghost of a chance. This stranger showed not high gifts of gold Nor wondrous beauty nor station proud ; He was merely new, while the rest were old, as se And hence his victory over the crowd. : 2Z iy 7 ‘They came and went, but she saw them not, —— Fz Or only perceived them to ignore; y And this was all the reward they got For following her to the ocean shore. MADRLINE S. mRIDGES. THE RESULT OF A MISUNDERSTANDING. id LITTLE Miss SOMERBY came to her aunt with tears on her cheeks and a long line of AN ats bright sanguine across her gypsy wrist. FUDDLED Afro (fetodous iy Nox While the scratch was being treated with warm water and court-plaster the following account of the unfortunate occurrence was given with a reminiscent punctuation of sobs: I went to see a tabby-cat who'had four little kittens. ‘They were tiny, blind things, and I said to the mother, ‘May I take one of your kittens up in my arms? 1 will be very careful not to pinch it too hard.’ The cat said something; I thought it sounded like * Ye-al so I took a kitten up in my arms. Then the mother reached over and slapped my hand and scratched me, so, and I put the kitten down quick and ran away. You see, she didn’t say* Ye-ah’ at all; she said‘No-aw, and so (sob final) I got scratched.” KG INCONSISTENT. THE temperance man he up and died, Ard then—oh, drop a tear— The undertaker in his pride For him set up the bier. A CHICAGO WEDDING. Justice —"S0 you wish to be married?” be Awaiting couple—"' Yes, sit.” a. IN. CHA THE GENERAL-UTILITY WAITE! Da’s all right, Cale Sustice—" Slipknot oF true-—ompers; da’s all right! Yo" jes wait ‘Il I ketch you ‘busy. lover's knot? 1 plays d* floor-washin’ hose on you /” MIXED. ‘TIME, MIDNIGHT. Gentleman and mes- senger-boy. Gentleman leaning against a post near the electric tight. Gentleman —" shay, boy, can you tell me if thish is thish shide of the street, or is thish that shide of the street? I ashed a man down here if thish was thish shide of the street and he shaid he thought it was. I'll be blamed if I can shee the difference. Now if you think that thish is thish shide, and will walk a ways down with me on thish shide, I'll be muss obliged to you.” THE EFFECTS OF KNOWLEDGE. HE fisherman lies with ease, for he Knows truth 's at the bottom of the sea. NO HELP FOR IT. Sam—* How's your brother Tom get- ting along now? The doctor tells me he has _ : consumption.” AT THE TELEPHONE. ee Wee een js . a r Dick—"He's getting along fairly well; APPABLE MERCHANT —"' You say you want to —Oh, you want to let one! (Hangs up ree ye ; + see me about renting a store, sir? Ves, sir; I'll call ceiver.) Twish these blank-blankety nuisances would but you know that Tom’s got to take them on you the first thing in the What?" give a man time to attend to his own business.” lungs of his'n with him everywhere he goes.” comicbooks.com