Judge — August 22, 1891 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. W. J. Arwen. Brawnaen Giitam, 1. M. Guncony, Editor. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITRD STATES AND CAKADA, IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year, or sa numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, of 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy: for 13 weeks = = = Las Including the Cuistsas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—Toall for- eign countries the fastal union, ayear, ‘THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupcr BuILpINc), Cor, Fifth Ave. and 10th Street, New York. ER-We guarantee advertisers a larger circulation at cheaper rates than any ether American satirical paper published. JOHN SHERMAN has done too much service to retire to private life until he has his trunk packed. #¢ POLITICS,” says an exchange, “are beginning to hum." That, let us suggest, is the duty of chari eee HEN P. COUZINS lifts her squawk all the other hens try to be quiet until she stops—and they can’t and she never does. eee THE ASHES of Blavatsky are to be equally divided among three cities. To allay apprehension it may be stated that they are ex- pected to do no pharnixing. THERE IS NOT a coward in Russia who has not struck a Jew. License of cruelty means the lifting of every dirty head and hand from every gutter. RS. LEASE and about forty other alliance persons pro- pose to stump Ohio; but things will go on very well—nobody will die, perhaps—if they choke Lease off, WHEN THE FIGHTING was going on the color-line was not strictly drawn, That is to say, the black regiments were permitted to occupy certain places of danger. . DISAGREEABLE ALL AROUND. R, SCARSDALE (who never whispers) —"* Jest come out here a minute, worst-lookin’ spider you ever see.” PoinueaRD—"* Shut up, you insulting hayseed !” THE FIRST MOVE made by the minister to Russia to resume the management of the machine in Pennsylvania resulted in mashing two of his fingers between the cogs. if Cidelia, Here's th’ THE QUEEN'S SPEECH —Vich I thinks things is about as they his, me luds an’ gen‘lemen, han’ I thinks as they von’t be no trouble vith Hameriky habout the dratted seals.” eee CALVIN 5. BRICE has not yet, we th his chairmanship. Consider his br: he has no mercy on the Democratic part resigned his senatorship or en check, and then wonder if eee N ICOLL, district attorney, is said to be a candidate for governor. If he works as expeditiously in that regard as he does in his present office he will probably be in the field directly after election. eee HE COMMITTEE appointed for that purpose are so actively booming the world’s fair abroad that several of the powers are alarmed for the stability of their politics and the quantity of their wines. eee THE NEW CONSTITUTION of Kentucky was not approved by Henry Watterson, yet it was carried by a majority more than twice as large as that for the Democratic ticket. Somebody ought to write Henry a private letter about this. TERRIBLE STORY of cruelty in Dannemora prison, told in the Morning Advertiser, received the prompt attention of the superin- tendent of state prisons, He immediately ordered that the number of men making shirts be reduced about one-third. see A MAN recently assassinated had just written a letter to his wife and little ones. When the fact got out there was a great stir of the emotions, but it presently transpired that the wife was the wife of another individual. One should never weep over injured innocence until he has his tears ready. AN EX-PRESIDENT’S DIGNITY. T IS URGED that it is beneath the dignity of Mr, Cleveland as an ex- president to speak for Governor Campbell in Ohio; yet it is remarked in the same breath that as an ex-president he is an ordinary citizen, no greater and no less than any other ordinary citizen, There is a contradic- tion here which isnot pleasing, and the less so because Mr. Cleveland has greatly improved in his public addresses during the last ten years, and in fact is mentioned by one Democratic journal as a most effective speaker, with a clear, ringing voice and much impressiveness. The question of dignity is, however, a small one to an enthusiastic man, and we recall the fact that the successor of Mr. McKinley in the house declared that it was Governor Hill who turned the tide in his favor and really elected him. It is not to be supposed for one moment that Mr. Cleveland objects to any public remarks on the free-coinage question; but we are sure that the matter of dignity doesn’t enter into this proposition as much as some persons appear to think it does. PROPRIETY IN WED- . DINGS. DURING a marriage ceremony in London the happy bride- groom suddenly interrupted the clergyman with the question, “Have a drink?” at the same time offering the good man a bottle—and_no glass; and dur- ing a similar proceeding in Chi- cago about the same time the groom remarked to the clergy- man, “Stop the deal! Adelaide has on her blue dress, which I hate. She must be married in her steel-gray.” Such fractures of propriety could not occur in New York. We have here Mr. McAllister's book ; but, far better, there is here that innate sense of delicacy which prevents any vio- lence in the exuberance of either joy or hymeneal criticism. Would it not be well, therefore, for some New-Yorker to write a book for general circulation or go lecturing on the etiquette belonging to the wed- ding ceremony? In-the contemplated union of the Democracy and the farmer's ofganization of the west it would be shocking if there were to be an invitation to concentrated corn or rye; and if the question were to be asked, “* What's the deal?” the bride would faint so as to have no resusci- tation until the following day. HOW SHE WILL REFORM. CHAUTAUQUA decides on reform in woman's dress, and is ardently joined by the Tennessee national union, which is led by Frances Willard. We know little of the details; but the dress most contiguous to the form is to be composed of four pieces, and bustles, corsets and tight- ness of waist are to be abolished, the present waist being conspicuously mentioned as “the death-line.” We should think the change would be a reform, There is too much deception, we suspect, in woman's dress as at present constituted. Four pieces, however they may be assumed in a hurry or with deliberation, suggest celerity, and some of the most precious hours of mankind are wasted in waiting for the consummation of the average existing female toilet. An abolishment of pins, and strings, and straps, and an excess of buttons and buckles, would simplify matters to the intense satisfaction of the first and best companion of woman; and if the lady would also confine herself to one kind of complexion and four kinds of whim there would be a whirlwind of amiability that would sweep the country, And “the dead-line?” Ab, how true that is! comicbooks.com