Judge — August 15, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BY THE MEADOW BROOK. ILUE eyes by the meadow brook Half veiled in the long, soft grass, How friendly they lean and look ‘At the ripples that laugh and pass. ‘And the skies of a long-dead spring Shine over me clear and high, ‘As the violets bend and swing And the glad, swift waves run by. With a smile that is lost in tears, Silent I stand and look ; Oh, dream of dear, ended years— Blue eyes by the meadow brook ! NOT ON THE ROUTE. Mrs. Ducey (conipleting her purchase) —" Thot'll do me.” “Tite SALESMAN —"' Shall I send it?" Mrs, Ducey (looking at the cash-carrier) No; Oi'll tek it. road doan’ go near me house.” ‘Thot rail- DID THIS ACTUALLY OCCUR? 66 AH,” HE said with a sigh,“ this isn’t a bit like mother's bread !” “L suppose your mother malle the best bread in the world,” she replied with spirit. “No; far from it. I never could eat the bread baked at home.” TWO SIDES TO IT. Farmer —"\'d like to buy one o' them machines, mister, but your darned old trust has put the prices up so high thet I can't.” Dealer —" Well, I'm sorry, but we can’t sell any lower. By the way, what's wheat bringing to- day? Farmer (chuckling)— “We ain’t sellin’ no wheat. Goin’ to hold it™fer a ~ GRACE. She laced herself so tight She couldn't eat, Then, for excuse, remarked: “Grace before meat !" HER RETURN TICKET. YOUNG couple were hurrying to catch the train out of Chicago when the bride's mother sald: “Now, Clara, you're sure you've got your re- A GRACEFUL APOLOGY. CALAVERAS ANTONY — “Excuse me, Mr. m a cafion wolf ‘f I didn’t mean that that plug sombrero o’ yourn.” is safe in the hands of my lawyer.” Pret MUTUAL SYMPATHY. Nick (the jockey)—"* Yo's lookin’ all broke up.dis mawnin’, Joe.” Jor (another) —"" Yas ; 1 dun got throwed in d’ las’ race yisterday.” Nick —"'T's wusser off 'n yo' is, I frowed’d" race.” THE FRENCHMAN AND’ THE BLACK. A SOUTHERNER once imported a Frenchman, reputed to be an excel- lent truck-gardener, to teach his negroes the finer arts in farming. Monsieur worked away the whole of the first morning. At twelve o'clock the great bell of the plantation rung, summoning all hands to dinner. A half-hour was allowed and, much to the foreigner’s surprise, the darkies showed unusual animation in leaving him. One old African, pitying the ignorance that wasted time in work when eating or sleeping in the sun could be done, said “ Dat's‘de dinner-bell.” With a shrug and a gesture the Frenchman ‘said, “Je ne vous com- prend pas.” : “ Time fer yer to git yer vittles,” Another shrug and more gesticulating, denoting non-comprehension. “Dat feller mus’ be deef,” said Uncle Sandy as he yelled now loudly, “ Ain't yer gwine git yer food Monsieur only wriggled and shrugged his shoulders more. “H'm!” said the now disgusted negro as he walked away, ffungry ’e talk.” A SPOON. Ella—* Who is thatipiing man who scemed.so attentive to you last night in the moonligh Clara —* Oh, that is my souvenir spoon from Cleveland.” AFTER THE YACHTING ACCIDENT. BLoomennetMER —'‘ Mein vrent?” Tur piver—* Well BLoomeNnite1meR—‘Ohf you sees a leedle feller mit a plue-striped jersey mit a silk collar on it down dere, pring him oop firsd. Dem goods shrinks awful ” comicbooks.com