Judge, 1891-07-18 · page 10 of 16
Judge — July 18, 1891 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains multiple short humorous pieces typical of late 19th/early 20th-century American satire: **"A Pastoral Etching"** mocks romantic poetry—a suitor composes flowery verses about a peasant girl bringing home cows, only to have the moment shattered by her mother's shrill interruption with a hickory switch threat. **"Incontestable"** jokes about women's corsetry: a sister argues corsets are necessary; her sister counters by pointing to a classical Venus statue, then quips that Venus only looks natural *without* clothes. **"The Noble Indian"** presents a racial stereotype: a tourist observes a "once powerful chief" now reduced to complaining about lack of cigar stamps—colonial-era satire mocking both Indigenous decline and commercial triviality. **"Too Much for Her"** depicts a rural wife whose husband sees no harm in her doing heavy farm labor, but worries a half-mile walk for a new bonnet exhausted her—mocking male illogic about women's capabilities. Other pieces mock magazine proliferation, miserly employers, romance photography interrupted by protective brothers, and marital irony.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE A PASTORAL ETCHING, HE TWILIGHT faded o'er the pasture lot, And sweet Mathilde came bringing home the cows ; The weary plowmen rested from their plows, “The breeze shook perfume from the apricot— What dreams exquisite rise in such a spot ! T'll write a sonnet to Mathilde’s gold hair, Her throat of snow, her skin like roses rare; Her eyes, blue as a shy forget-me-not ; And hear ! the music of her tiny feet That trample clover where a late bee hums ; Was ever pastoral etching so complete? Oh, to perdition! here her mother comes ! “ Matildey ! come right home! Do you hear me? Er T'll come out ther’ with a hick-o-re !" INCONTESTABLE. 6A LITTLE girl like you need corsets!" exclaimed her elder sister, pro- jecting a lecture on beauty as dependent _upon physical laws. “ What would you think of Venus, here, wearing corsets ?” lly at the picture and her face relaxed into indif- THE NOBLE INDIAN. Tourist (on overland train) —*A once po brooding over the rapid see the proud head bowed ONCE POWERFUL cut no smoke. verful chief, perhaps, Florence glanced crit ts of civilization. How sad to ference. "Ugh! no find cigar stamp. “Perhaps she does,” said Florence, “ when she has her clothes on,” Injun TOO MUCII FOR HER. First farmer —* How's your wife, Farmer Peart?” Second farmer —" Oh, she’s complainin’ some.” First farmer —"V thought she'd be under the weather when I sec her pitchin’ hay in the field vother day.” Second farmer — "That didn’t hurt her, She walked half a mile after a new bonnet yesterday, and I calc’late the walk was too much, for her.” THE YOUTHFUL IDEA. +5 MAGGIE has a magazine,” Cried my little Fred ; “Can't I have a Freddyzine “Fore I go to bed?” Little Benny on my knee Drank in every word; Quickly from the room he ran ; Soon he came back with a can And these words I heard From my little man : “Ain't this Pennyzine ?” ALEX. He LAIDLAW, 38, cLe ERENEZER —"* Well, now! y to keep water. First time T queer I surmise that you press the butte lke. HIS REWARD. GENEROUS TEA-MERCHANT —" You have been with me forty years to-day, Mr. Bardwell.” His OLD nooK-k Gexrrovs 1 r—"'I'm going to show you substantially that appreciate your services. You're getting old and feeble and can't move around very quickly, so I'm going to have a fire-escape put on the counting-room window.” sir.” SELTZER FOR ONE. This be a ever see the on and" — —"'Holy gosh! Stop ‘er! !" TWO OF A KIND. S¢COLLEGE men are just like thermometers.” “They're graduated, ch?” “Yes; marked by degrees.” ON A SUMMER DAY. A BEAUTIFUL maiden, Reading a book ; A picturesque landscape, A babbling brook. A man with a kodak In secret prepares ‘To picture the maid As she sits, unawares, Her two strapping brothers Were chancing to pass, Saw the man with the kodak, And also the lass. They rolled up their sleeves, Threw off hat, coat and vest. ‘The man pressed the button, They did the rest. AIITTENS WILLETT, FOR SELF. © OHO is more dear to you than your husband?" fy husband’s wife. “That be the allfiredest machine I ever sce.” | comicbooks:com