Judge — July 11, 1891 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE A TRICK THAT FAILED. QUITE A FELLOW, ‘ WHat is the cause of Dum- ley's sudden popularity at the club?” “Sh! Don't let it go any fur- ther. He was caught cheating at cards.” ECONOMICALLY == SPEAKING. Catch on to the dude on the springing-board. OME day you'll be old and halt- See me haze him.” ing; Salt your dollars while you're clever; Most pickles are made by salting, But financial pickles never. A LAWYER'S RETORT. Bolton —" The courts are hum- { bugs. It is impossible to get justice SPECULATIVE. in this country.” ANTONIO (wishing to buy street fruit-stand)—"And Hawley— What's the matter? how much-a do you make in a da Has your wife lost her divorce suit?” 4 BOO emer rs cence on bom citer. the Bs SCRAPS. r SAID that Pullman girl, “Some fun'll Always happen in a tunnel,” And my after observation proved her right; For her speck of black court-plaster Stuck to his mustache much faster Than the Pullman maid approved of~in the light. A CANDID CRITIC. ‘OYVELL, what do you think of my pict- = ure at the academy of design?” asked young Mahlstick of Jones the other To soothe love's enragement “A pressing engagement,” To Jennie—her tailor beau's plea. Said she, “' This arrangement All future estrangement Precludes—do your pressing with me.” ay. “Fair, dear boy, fair; but now you ask me I must confess I liked your earlier style bene cee There is scholard sharps as speaks ATES IG Cah Meare "Bout nine muses uv de Greeks, Yes; when you didn't paint at all, you PE A NERC : ss » Them nine ‘muses me de best “ » : i } Wot'll clean out, east and west, FROMIJES TTOR EARNEST uals (eS All de clubs an’ fly de pennant in New York. Jour ataKo. know, Primus—"The theatre caught fire in the midst of the topical song.” = H i Secundus — Did the comedian retain his E LOVE'S LOGIC, presence of mind?” She—"Papa, may I marry Jack? 1 Primus—“Yes; he told the audience = = could go further and fare worse.” there was a fire under the stage, but they thanks toyou, si, Thaven't. /#€—" You couldn't fare worse.” need not be alarmed, as the manager was a had such a good jump and spring since I traveled with Barnum, She—" Then what's the use of my go- Universalist.” five years ago, Could I trouble you to get my hat?” ing: further?” A STRIKING LIKENESS. 6¢\AR.WEBER, this is your son's photograph which he or- dered. Does it not look like Yes.” But he has not paid me for ‘That looks still more like THE HUMORIST. HE is 2 man who writes a gag Whene’er by nonsense whirled ; And so we say he is a wag Because he wags the world. VIEWS OF AN INTERESTED PARTY. * seugiEST Ran (fn Battery park)—'* Well, V've got a HE CAN'T HELP IT. nickel, an’ I'm goin’ up to Harlem.” — SrcoND TkAMP—" Goin’ to ride on the helevated Chemesd ik DETeraeaaa = road?" break his word as Hojack does. : First TRAMP—" Wot are yer givin’ us? I don't Fangle—" have always found TOO MUCH OF A RECOMMENDATION. pat no money in de pocket of de soulless corporation him truthful.” Conn —"' Meester, dot suit fits you like der paper on dat is tryin’ to rob de poor of their breathin'-places in dé Pat how oer wall.” si an park! No, sir; dis nickel goes fer a five-cent glass o° Cumso—Ves; but see how Grow.xy —“‘ Yes, I see it does; but I don’t like clothes * genooine Kentucky." he stutters.” that stick to me.” comicbooks!com