Judge — July 11, 1891 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FOUND IT! STAGE-MANAGER (on sfage) —''And does the scene-painter call that scene a water-fall? Why, it's a daub! Where's the water?” HUM OF THE COURT. BEHIND all the management of Mr. Blaine there is the management of Mr. Blaine himself. We must not forget that: ]F MR. MANSFIELD had pleaded guilty as to a recent foolish news- paper interview Richard would have been himself again. UNAPPRECIATED SARCASM. IronIcaL GUEST —"' There's only a nice, large fly in this stew, waiter.” Warrer—"* Yeas; I done notice dey was only one. It’s kinder early for dem yet, boss, an’ yer can't hardly ‘spec’ mo’ dan one till dey’s in season.” GORDON-CUMMING didn’t take it so hard, after all. They thought he would commit suicide, but he merely committed matrimony. ABOUT THIRTY years ago the autograph of C. Vibbard on a little card was more prized than that of any other great man of his time. E ARE PLEASED to observe an improvement in the average woman who smokes cigarettes. She occasionally smokes a cigar. ONES, Flower and Hill have all declined to run for Governor, and done it with as much emphasis as if they were ashamed of the whole busi- ness and real mad too. ELVA LOCKWOOD is angry because somebody says she is seventy- one; and we think ourselves that she is one of the girls of ‘seventy-six of whom we so often read. SAAC P. GRAY is so persistently puffed by our David's organs, a sus- picion has arisen that it is proposed to kill him off before the slightest preparation for the funeral. HY SHOULD ‘O'Donovan Rossa go to Ireland? He cannot collect any money for the Fenians there, and besides this country is the headquarters of Irish banking. ANGRY SCENE-PAINTER (from flies above, throwing down pailful of water on stage-manager) —" There!" HE KAISER laughs at some ridiculous stories going the rounds about him; but the more absurd ones, happening to be true, are received by him without a flicker of a smile. ‘THERE ARE NINE infallible rules for keeping cool in hot weather; but the public is acquainted only with the tenth, like the victims of John Calvin, and that doesn't work at all. SOME NEWSPAPER that doesn’t give advice to the graduate at this season will become famous as the brightest of publications; but pending its fame it will be terribly lonesome. D° NOT be fretful, Jonesey. I cannot give you the epaulets, but you shall have a new pair of shoes with copper toes, and pretty little brass nails in the heels of them.—D. 2B. Hill. JACOB KILRAIN has a remarkable record as a whipped man, and the oftener he is whipped the more glory he gets, When he is knocked out by death he will be the most glorified man in the pugilistic arena. HE CZAR talks English like a native—of Russia. Minister Smith says his mien and presence are those of a king, and many of his subjects declare that he punishes like an emperor, But he is not good at cards. AFTER ALL, ex-President Hayes is keeping so remarkably quiet that nobody can find fault with him; but he may be indiscreet enough to acquire some superfluous fat and then his peace of mind will be gone forever. MBS: VAN SICLEN of Hollis, L.1., died leaving her property to her husband in case he never re-married. Heretofore meanness of that kind has been monopolized by the other sex, and it’s a worse rule as it works both ways. % TAKEN UNTO HERSELF. Cartaty BLoopcoop —"' The war-ship of the future must be built for ab- solute stability, thus (goes fo work on the sand), without reference to unusual Mrs. BLoopcoon (coming from the surf) —"* I'm sorry, Jettison, if you've got nothing better to do than to caricature your wife.” comicbooks.com