Judge — June 20, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

173 HIGHLY NERVOUS. ISS JONES was very nervous—could Not bear a soul around ; VALUABLES GONE. bs «s\YOU must have suffered terribly in the big cyclone.” Would fly to pieces at a touch, “Yes; everything valuable was totally And start at every sound ; wrecked.” ITad palpitation of the heart ‘And trembled at a word, On evenings that T called on her “Didn't you save anything?” “ Nothin’ but my wife and the mortgage on cs the house.” I scarcely ever stirred. HE KNEW IT. Yet, yielding to a strong desire, Mr, Wobbash —*So this is planked shad, Tteld her of my love. is it?” She started, as you may suppose - The sensitive sweet dove, I begged of her to marry me, With all a lover's force ; And what do you suppose she did? Why, jumped at it, of course. MITTENS WILLETT, REFUTING THE ASSERTION. Watter — Yes, sir.” Mr, Wobbash—“1 knew it. I could tell it from the splinters.” LOCAL PRIDE. Livewayte (of Chicago) —* You can depend on Chicago's sticking to the biblical narrative of the creation of Eve.” $4) YOU believe that even Homer some- Seca | Bleecker —" Why?” times nods OS — Livewayte— Because it shows the value . "No, I don't, He's dead.” SNAE/AND-ENERGY. of a spare rib.” AN OBJECT-LESSON. 66M AMMA,” said Willie, “what is that word ?” “Spell i “Tera. “What do we use to catch mice with?” “Oh, 1 know! Cat." THE SUMMER GIRL. ‘THE summer gil agains due, In kilted skirt and bodice, At some sequestered rendez- yous— A dainty, vernal goddess. She ready is, for any sport, To cast aside her jacket, And soon upon a tennis-court ‘The latest instance of that freedom from convention- She'll have a racquet. ality which characterizes the wild and woolly west. rome ce AN ENJOYABLE ARRANGEMENT. He—" They put off their bridal trip until two months after they were married.” She —" Where did they go then ?” He—" He went to the Yosemite valley and she to the White mountains.” A CHECK OF ANOTHER SORT. Chinner —"\ hear that Miss Roxy's papa gave her a check for ten thousand oe dollars when she was married last week.” oe Codling —* Speaking of wedding- checks, I received one myself last night.” Chinner —“ \ndeed ?” Codling Yes; I asked Miss Scadds to marry me, and she said no.” NEBRASKA HAT-ETHICS—1. (of Boston, on his arrival at Lone Time yy father fitted me out in the most complete mannah, y" see; sombrero and all.” INCOMPATIBLE, +4] 'VE got a new job,” remarked Geo gie Gazzam to his Sunday-scho teacher. “It's in a real-estate office.” “Is your employer a Christian, Geor- gic?” “He's a real-estate agent, cir. I said that at first.” CARELESS WORK. cy DEAR. dear !* said the sick editor as he finished his paper; “I must get some one else to take charge. Smith- ers is crazy.” AN OFFSET. “What has he done now?” queried He—~*Geraidine, you do not love Mrs. We. me.” “Printed one of Mr. Depew’s funeral She—"Have 1 vroken our engage- ment?” He—‘No; but you wore Captai Farrar’s flowers to-night instead of min She —" But yesterday I ate your bon- bons first.” THERE IT IS REVERSED. Gildersleeve —"* Every dog has its day’ is a proverb which doesn’t go in Algiers.” Winebiddle —" Why?” Gildersleeve dey has his dog. “Because there every Raccrp-epcr Murrny —"* Ile's trav'lin’ on his dad, boys. Chuck der tenderfoot !" orations and interspersed it with ‘laugh- ter’ in brackets.” OUT OF SEASON. HE summer girl, the darling sprite! There's naught she can remember. For though she sees you every night She forgets you in September. HIS WORK IS.TO LAST. Pennibs (proudly) —"1 write for im- mortality, sir.” Gazzam—" Ah! what brand of in- delible ink do you use?” f comicbooks.com|