Judge — June 20, 1891 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| THE FEMININE PRESCRIPTION CLERK, “What are you making, my pretty maid ?” “Nothing much,” with'a smile she said. Bat for the result I grew rather afraid, As the wonderful “* Nothing much” was made, With strychnine and quinine she gently played, And arsenic was just as good unweighed as weighed. Gay dashes at oxides and sulphates she made, And sizable drops on the mixture were lai On potassium cyanide she then made a raid, While my hair did uprise and my color did fade. “* What is it, now that it is done, fair maid?” “Oh, nothing much, sir, I guess,” she said. “* And who did prescribe “ Nobody but a lady M. “Tis truly a marvelous dose you've made— ‘This nothing from nothing, ob, mixing m *harmaceutical Era, my drug-store maid 7" .," she said. When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria, When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria, When she became Miss, she clung to Castorla, When she had Children, she gave them Castoria, Nervous passenger (to mother of howling imp in parlor car) —""Madam, is there anything. any of us can do to—to pacify your little boy?” Fond mother (of spoiled child) —* Oh, thank you, yes; you are very kind. You see, the dear little fellow wants to throw his lunch at the passengers, and I was afraid they wouldn't like it. Just stand where you are, please. Now stop crying, my pet. This kind gentleman wants you to play with him."—Mew York Weekly. A resolution has been introduced into the bakers’ union to boycott all employers who may hereafter use yeast in making their bread. ‘The boycott is founded on the well-known fact that yeast, in flagrant opposition to union principles, persists in working more than eight | hours a day.—Francesea in S. F. Hotel Gatette, Briggs—"'1 see that Rounder, who is so popular with his trade, has the delirium-tremens.” Griggs — What does the firm think about it?" Brigg. “They understand it and have simply crossed New Jersey off his territory."—Clothier and Furnisher. It is surprising the amount of trouble a man will en- dure before it reaches him.—A tchison Globe. whe “ASK FOR | Packer's Tar Soap The ideal for Toilet, Bath and Shampoo, It pos- souses hygienic qualities not found in any other soap, and has, for years, enjoyed the preference of physicia ‘ All Druggists. 25 cents, VERY REST ALL-TOBACCO Consolidated Clearette Co. Ave. D&sothst, NewYork Diet! T. FEUX GOURAUD'S ORIENTAL ‘CREAM, OR MAGICAL BEAUTIFIER. PURIFLES AS WELLAS Beautifes the skin No other cos- metic will do it. THe BARKER BRAND hel LINEN COLLARS BSOLU Tey BE ST; WILuIAM BARKER, WFR, TROY, W. Y. Write Lewis 6. Tewksbury, Banker and Broker, 50 Broadway, N.Y,, to send his circular. CARL PRETZEL'S PHiLosOPHY. | BOKER'S BITTERS since 1828 acknowledged to be It vas a shure ting dot sooperior merit of efery kind | by far the best and finest Stomach Bitters made, wheth- vas sit on its hindside. er taken pure or with wines or liquors or other cordials. Vhen you vas dinking of der fun dot you vant to hafe, yoost tink of der troobles vat you don'd got already. No feller in der whole vorldt vill got enfied on ac- kound he vas more just und more chenerous as any odder mans. ‘Ofer a wirtue got plaindy enuff salary on dis earth fellers would have no abbreciations of der goot enuff tings abofe. It vas more worth to shtop a leedle vhile in der shade ‘of dis life, so dot vhen you did come to go out once der brightnesses got more lite on it. It vas mit much plaindy sorrowfulness vhen I did said dot time vas make deaden der debt of gratitoot und der memory of goot tings done for us. Quester —"I'd like to know, my friend, how you knew it was going to rain today? The’ sun set last night in drapery of mazy gore; every meteorological indication assured a continuance of the drought, and Yet you confidently predicted the storm that is upon us. What prompted you to the prophecy ?” Jesler—"*An infallible forerunner of a storm. I spent iwo hours and my latent vitality in watering my plants last evening.” —Boston Courier, Young husband —"* Don't you quite understand how to doit, darling?” Young wife—'* Yes, it is all quite clear; but it says ‘first clean your turkey,’ and I was” wondering whether one should use toilet or regular scouring soap.""—Chicago News, Mrs, Winstow's SooTHING Syrup for Children Teething ; soothes the child, softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind colic and diarrhea, 25 cents a bottle. A Keyport, New Jersey, giri, who was awaiting in the midst of the assembled guests the tarrying bride- groom, received a note from him announcing that he could “not come because the manufacturer of his wedding-suit had not given him a fit. When the disappointed lady next saw him she gave him several. —Chicago Times, Friend (to prohiibitionist) —"" | suppose you'd hate to have a lot of your prohibition brethren catch you in a saloon?” Prohibitionist—"* Yes; it would go mighty hard with me, I'd have to buy drinks for the crowd.”” —Brooklyn Life Extract of BEEF. “ALL ALL GOOD COOKS THE YMAR ROUND. Bend to ARMOUR & Co.. 0 for Cook Book show- vase Ot armours betract a and Bauces, Mailed free. * Mustn’t SS eS THE CELEBRATED PIANOS ‘Are at present the Most Popular and Preferred by Leading Artists, Warerooms, 149, 151, 153, 155 East 14th St., W.Y. SOHMER «& CO. is, Cwicaco, Ins... 936 State Street; Saw Francisco, Cat, Union Club Building ; St. Lours, Mo., 1522 ‘Street; Kansas | City, Mo., 1123 Main Strect “My dear sir,” asked the old gentleman of the passer-by, ‘won't you read what street is printed on that sign?” “Can't,” answered the citizen, read anything. Just been drawn on a jury." —PAila- delphia Times, “Go away, Vou are drunk,” said the citizen to the beggar. “I ain't nothin’ of the kind,” was the wrath ful reply.“ D’you suppose I'd be out a-workin’ on sich a cold day as this if I was good an’ drunk ?"—Jirdian- apolis Journal, Guest—" How is this? My bill this time is four dollars a day ; and last December I had the same room and it was only three dollars a day." Clerk—'* Yes, 1 know ; but the days are much longer now."—Boston Courier. ASSOCIATION OF ACTING i ASSISTANT SURGEONS OF THE U.S. ARMY. Onoawtzep 1883. IxcorronarED 1982 A. REEVES JACKSON, M.D OFFICE OF THE RECORDER. RICHARD J. DUNGLISON, M.D, % W, THORNTON PARKER, M.D, Satem, Mass., March 23, 1891. When at Stuttgart, Germany, during the winter 1881-82, I was suffering from a severe attack of Bronchitis, which seemed to threaten Pneumonia. I met, at the Hotel Marquardt, Commander Beardslee, of the’ United States Navy. In speaking of my sickness, he remarked: "* Doctor, you can cure that chest trouble of yours by using an Auicock’s Poxous PLaster.” ‘That may be true,” I answered, “but where can I get the plaster?” ‘ Any- where in the civilized world, and surely herein Stutigart. Whenever 1 have a cold, f always use one and. fad relief.” I sent to the drug-store for the plaster, and it did all that my friend had promised. Ever since then I have used it whenever suffering from a cold, and I have many times prescribed it for patient + ‘The ALLCOCK's PLASTER is the best to be had, and has saved many from severe illness, and undoubtedly, if used promptly, will save many valuable lives. Whenever one has a severe cold they should put on an ALLCOCK’s PLASTER as soon as possible. It should be placed across the chest, the upper margin just below the neck ; some hot beef tea, or milk, will aid in the treatment, This is not a patent remedy in the objectionable sense of that term, but a standard ey of value. The Fovermment supples for the United States Army and Indian Hospital stores contain ALLCOCK's PLASTERS, and the medical Profession throughout the world is well aware of their relia Moses ili ity and excellence. T shall always recommend it, not only to break up colds, but as useful in allaying pains in the chest and in the back. It is g preparation worthy of general confidence. MONDay FRIDAY gaTURDAy 65 USED EVERY WEEK-DAY BRINGS REST ON SUND. TUESDay DMERDAy THUGS Ky 7 comicbooks.com