Judge — May 2, 1891 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

52 JUDGE HUM OF THE COURT. EVERY WOMAN in Kansas is the woman who beat Ingalls. She says so herself, D ISS DEBAR says she is tired of her life, but she can’t be half as tired of it as the public is. HE L a man knows about finance the happier he is when he and his friends Peffer and Simpson come to talk about it. MB. INGALLS is industrious with the hoe, but it takes him thirty minutes to feel of the blisters he makes in five. MBE: STANLEY thinks it possible that he will go to Africa again but, mark you! Mrs, Stanley has yet to express an opinion, as has Mrs. Tennant. THERE WAS never yet a baby that didn’t do and say the same things that other babies did; but there was never yet a baby that didn’t do and say them better. NOBODY KNOWS who Parnell married, but, whether mother or daughter, it is tolerably safe to say that the ceremony didn’t in- ABUSING A CRIPPLE. clude the entire family. ** Hello! What's all that on your neck?” rsely)—"* Rag, you idiot! What ‘d you think it was?” ; around your neck, im | \ , trying to find out what you call that thing on the top end of Hi if he doesn’t obey and a slave a) if he does, The law is the pope, . Ya \ and the man who doesn’t kneel to it as well as contribute to its support is a heretic. SEE HERE, HUMBERT! You don’t want to be cari- catured and our people don't want to be assassinated. You all off your murderers and we'll call off our artists and let you live and die in the unhappiness of total privacy. THE PEOPLE of Minnesota, whose legislature has. pro- hibited tights in opera, should never be permitted to look upon a woman again except in bloom- ers and Turkish veils. But in that case heaven help the legis- lature, It will speedily be torn ERATION OF HISTORIANS. Hina from limb, Miss Hupsox—" Who's the old gentleman you were talking to?” Coronet. Woonwar (of Adéany)—"I don't know. His name is Windrop or Hons , Winthrop or something like that, and he hails from Moston, Crazy as a 4 SEARO RIC bp oF es P f iM avo bekie le coot. Says his ancestors came over in a ‘cauliflower or a mayflower or MUAY RAD AND BEANS Ye some other horticultural package.” I ]f MIGHT be possible for the wife of * Jimmie Blaine to get a divorce in a western state without premature publica- tion of the fact, but perhaps her friends never thought of that. LAPY DUNLO is devoting herself these days to the sup- port of her husband, and as she is not well would like to sell him to some American heiress at half-price, or even no price at all, MAN declares that he has long enjoyed perfect health, though he takes nothing into his stomach but a few cups of coffee a day. If the coffee is as strong as the story we don’t wonder at jt REYTOWN, which announced the wrecking of Warner Miller and party, was shelled by American gunboats during the administration of Franklin Pierce. ‘The whirligig of time has its revenges. VERY DAY men are being more or less chewed by beasts, and in Cincinnati a man was attacked by two apes whom he had to choke into insensibility. Oh, yes! the circus and the spring are here. MUCH IS SAID in the Albany Times and other papers about the improvement of country roads, as sug by Governor Hill; but first let us make improvements in that aged and frightfully rocky straight and narrow one which runs all round the world. Gn THE BOWERY: ]§ THIS COUNTRY an honest man jis free until he is Custower—"* Why, look here, waiter ; you've got your thumb in my soup f ordered to serve on a jury. Then he becomes a thief Warten —"' Oh, I don’t mind ; ‘taint hot.’ comicbooks.com