Judge — April 25, 1891 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* Lsce fam two nickels out." Said Charles, and wheeled his chair about To sneeze the smoke the other way. “ ‘This poor tobacco doesn’t pay.” ‘Then up spoke Jack: “* The cabbage kind Is never to my health and mind. Usmoke the kind for king or queen— Why don't you get the Nicxat-in?™ Cigars for sale only at our stores. One reazon whi friendships are so transhient is be- kauze we so often mistake a companyun for a friend, — Josh Billings. Anxious mother — As I passed the parlor door last evening I saw Mr. Nicefello's face very, very close to yours.” Lovely daughter —"" Y-e-s, ma; he's so near- sighted." —Good News. When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria, When sho was a Child, abe cried for Castoria. ‘When she became Sfiss, she clung to Castoria. When sho had Children, she gave them Castoria. Queen Victoria's trip to the south of France is spoken of asa vacation. It is to be inferred from this that her royal highness is seeking relief from one sort of laziness by hunting up another.— Baltimore Herald. “ What was the basis of Mr. and Mrs, Futill’s sepa ration?” ‘Well, you know their baby — the one that was born last month?” * Yes." ** Futill said he should go to Yale and Mrs. Futill, who is from Boston, insisted on Harvard."—W York Sun. All danger of drinking impure water is avoided by adding twenty drops of the genuine Angostura Bitters manufactured by Dr. Siegert & Sons. At all druggists, An effort was made in Ohio to cure a girl of a dog- bite by using a madstone, but it failed. “The trouble was the stone was used too late. ‘It ought to have been applied to the dog before he bit the girl.— Baltimore American, ‘or you, dear girl,” said Jasper Jaggs, “I'd go through fire and water !” And warm and fervent was his mien As orthodox exhorter. Next day she met him on the street, He'd just imbibed a snorter ; Said she, ""I guess you meant, for me You'd go through fire-water.” — Yonkers Gazette, ASK FOR acker’s ‘Tar Soap The ideal for Toilet, Bath and Shampoo. It pos- sesses hygienic qualities not found in any other soap, and has, for years, enjoyed the preference of physicians, . All Druggists. 25 cents, VERY BEST ALL-TOBACCO CIGARETTES SOL On the Market. IN SMOKE NO OTHER. TEEN “HE CELEBRATED CARL PRETZEL'S PHILOSOPHY. Refenge vas found itself in der prains of a pooty shmall head. Vhen a fellar vas get tired of bein wirtuous der whole vorldt vill lay him heafer load on. It vas a sure ting dot only der outsides of a wicket life vas hafe a shmilin coundenances. ‘Vhen you vas got pblaindy mud on der wheels of time dhen you don’d go pooty smoothly along. Imachination mit a goot prush vas paint tings in aw- ful prite colors. Der possession of dhem vas not more vorth as a cheap chromo. Sohmer & Co.'s Bijou grand piano is a unique instru- ment, being the smallest grand piano ever made, but possessed of a large tone. If Darwin could have lived to hear the chatter of monkeys coming from a phonograph what a happy old naturalist he would have died.—Louisville Courier- Journal, With his hair flying in wild disorder, his eyeballs starting from their sockets, and every limb quivering with terror, the burglar came tumbling in desperate haste out of the window, ‘What's the row, Jerry?” whispered his confederate on the outside. ‘* Was they awake?” ‘Yes; I heard the click"—— “Of a re- volver?" “Thunder, no! Of a kodak !"—Chicago Tribune, ‘The learned physicians tell us there is danger in a kiss; Disease and death may reach us through that avenue of bliss ; ‘The gentle osculation which our being wildly thrills May bring us months of sickness and a lot of doctor bills, They say that with the honey we are all so prone to sip ‘The deadliest bacteria may pass from lip to lip. But when a fellow gets'a chance to kiss a pretty maid He's very apt to say, "Oh, hang the doctors! Who's afraid?” incinnati Commercial Gazette, BENEFITS. 7 £2 249 Meeklz., $200 to $4900 in three to seven years daring life; also in case of death. Men and women in all branches of business wanted as agents. Big pay and easy work. Address at once, ‘ 8. CLENSOR, 8 Union 8q., New York. Mention this paper. 2\ LIAN es He (ardently) —""1 loye you truly, Miss l'rettigyrt, more than words can tell. May I hope that my love is returned?" She—'‘I can't"—— He—"' Oh, well, perhaps you don't like me as well as I like you.” You See Y am more easily suited than you are."— Yankee lade, BOKER'S BITTERS since 1828 acknowledged to be by far the best and finest Stomach Bitters made, wheth- er taken pure or with wines or liquors or other cordials, Fanny Fern once said that she never had much opin- ion of feminine culture in Boston after being called to the window of a lady friend, at whose house in Cam. bridge she was staying, to look out into the garden and ‘see the dear little chickens run in under the maternal hen to get their lacteal nourishment.” Mrs, Wixstow's Sootiina Syrup for Children Teething ; soothes the child, softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind colic and diarrhoea, 25 cents a bottle. ““T think that you men are just awful !” she cried, ‘Though to hide her vexation she strove ; “'T never got on a car for a ride ‘That a man wasn't hugging the stove.” “Ab, pardon me, miss,” said a man old and gray, ‘And his eyes told of mischief ahea: “For all of the men I believe I can say ‘There is none but would hug you instead —Columbus Dispatch, Extract f BEEF ‘The best and most economical “Stock” for Soups, Ete. ‘One pound equals 45 pounds of prime lean Beet. Send for our book of receipts showing use ct ARMOUR'S EXTRACT in Soups and Sauces. ARMOUR «& CO., Chicago. OUS THE we Anycleeat desing exaust performed, sreacratis foe HAIR baldness and "aod B {fie for Thick, Softand Beautiful. Total akin, glands and muscles, and quickly healing cuts, burns, bruises &. All Draggists or by Mail, 50 cts, BARCLAY & CO., 44 Stone Str., New York. ‘coring eruptions, diseases sprains, SKIN ESTABLISHED | revent disease. For sale by Druggists, Sent by mail ($1) from 6. W. 25th THE SPECIAL FOOD FOR BRAIN AND NERVES. 4 GROSBY’S WITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Prepared according to Prof. Percy's formula, Is the only preparation of thz Hypo- phosphites, composed of elementsas they exist in the Auman brain and nerves, the principle necessary to restore and sustain mentol antl physical powers and ? Pamphlet with tatsjonials from leading physicians, the eminent clergy, and educators sent fee, 2 seN: Ye fs Tghalure printed on the label: None genuine without th “THE PERFECTION OF OLIVE OIL. RAE’S «i: LUCCA OIL The very best quality, of uniform standard excellence and absolutely Pure Olive Oil. ESTABLISHED 1936. ath LECHORN, TUSCANY, ‘Aro at present the Most Popular and Preferred by Leading Artists Warerooms, 149, 151, 153, 155 East 14th St. M.¥. -SOHMER & CO. Tis. ay6 State Street Saw Francisco, Cat., Union Sr. Lots, Mon, 2523 Olive Street; Kaxsas Importers and Ayents: FRANCIS H. LEGGETT & CO., New York; JAMES A. HAYES & CO., Boston; SPRAGUE WARNER & CO., Chicago. Do Your Corns Hurt? Cure them quickly and permanently with the Daisy Corn Cure. This remedy never fails. 15 cents a box, of Druggists, or sent post-paid on receipt of price. Star Bunton Cure, 25 cents. | Johnston Chemical Co., 145 E, 28rd St., N.Y. a The BARKER BRAND hes LINEN COLLARS) by ABSOLUTELY BEST. WILLIAM BARKER, M'F'R, TROY, N. Y. Do your BANKING, STOCK and BOND business with LEWIS G. TEWKSBORY, 50 Broadway, Xv. Y. comicbooks.com