Judge — March 7, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE THE SAD LAY OF ADOLPHUS ALGERNON PSHAW. HE dudiest dude shat I ever saw George Adolphus Alzeynon Pehaw : He dropped the” George” ofa common race, it" prince" and a coat-of-arms in its ;Then posed with aristocratic grace. Tasked him bis name: he stared at me: "Aw! [itr Pwince Adawiphus Awigernon Pshaw’ I marveled much that he chanced to exist With so big a cane in his puerile fst ; But that was the greatest effort he made, ‘And he always stood in the shadiest shade : It some way caused me to be afraid ‘That his portion of ease be cruelly missed When he gave his monocle a twist One day he daliied to view a belle Who prinked the beach with her gay umbrell ; His back to the ocean, a curling wave Rushed him out toa watery grave ‘With none to succour and none to save. Yet some, with serious faces, tell "Twas a proper end for one so" swell.”” Bat the saddest thing about his fate Rut far-sighted, sage clairvoyant tel Is that which the medical men relate: Of the Curious fellow I knew $0 well: jis maxillaries were $0 abused To utter the favorite word he used That they couldn't in any way be closed : t dandaged his mouth with cloth and weight,“ old chappy. this thing But as soon as they left him it opened straight. "Twon't show the woad to heaven or his bangs were curled And there he lay with his open ja\ ‘Then Peter, smiling, looked at his face He looked so natural : "Aw—aw—aw !" ind said, V ‘go to cither place: "Til some fond relative, they sy. Such fellows a8 you don't Koow enough Filled ns mouth with a hoge bouquet. Hobe rghteously good or wickedly teogh That was the last of the viable clay We have some cages of gilded stuf Of (George) Adolphus Algernon Pshaw, Seen by the travelers either way. Pheidodies aude'that hever saw. ‘And you can exhibit there eact day.” So that is the fate of Algernon Pshaw, Who lies with a huge bouquet in his Jaw ; . . , tocratie company DELIBERATE DETERMINATION. 4 to show for eternity, ‘And peter forever aughs en ean bei 0" eat enny mo’ onions I'se not goin’ ter lub He'll know but one thing and that is, “Aw! yo" enny mo’ T'm still Adawiphus Awigernon Pahaw Sue—"All right, Jeff Johnstone ; ef yo' goin’ ter allow a vegetable ter cum between us, yo’ may go f SUFFICIENT PROOF. **\YVHAT a pity it is that pretty Miss Moneybags is going to marry that homely WHY THEY COULD NOT BEGIN. Gushington.” Amy (at the foot-ball grounds) — Why don't they “How do you know she is going to marry him?" begin to play? “ Because I have the most positive assurances from her that they are not engaged.” Dolley — The, surgeons haven't arrived yet.” BOUND TO BE A SUCCESS. S6 CHARLEY SAWYER'S play is bound to be a success.” “Why are you so sanguine about it?” Well, you see, Charley has just decided not to play the leading réle.” ENOUGH TO CAUSE IT. Publisher — What is Marks swearing so loud at?” Assistant —" He's reading the proof of that last religious PROOF OF IT. hool teacher —" Now the prophets of old did not Freddy Fan; E Sunday-school teac! How do you know Freddy Fangle—'The bible says he was bald-headed.”* FLYING STEED—1. .ook out thar, mister! Don't you know the CITY MAN, SURE. Podunkus—" presume you regard my manners as rather provincial ?” Gothamite—" Not at all; you stare at a lady like a native.” bridge is down?” CONCESSIONS. R Widow Brown, my tove is true!” Your smoking, sir, against you pleads.” T'll give up smoking, dear, for you.” “Then I'll give up my weeds.” BEFORE AND AFTER. Bingo—"1 must go home. My wife doesn’t want me to stay out after nine o'clock.” Kingley—"1 thought she let you stay out until eleven.” THE FLYING STEED— the did, But that was before | was married.” Me, Witeeter—" Dat’ all right comicbooks.com