Judge — February 28, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ov thim wire blinds, an’ the barometer down to zaro?’ Pat—"* Kelly tould me that the skeeters was thick down on the pond, an’, begob! they ain't goin’ to catch me nappin’.” A SAD DISEASE. +4 D)ID you hear of Trotter's “No; what was it “Both his horses died last week of pneumonia.” “You don’t pneumonia, wasn’t los y so— regular plural SATISFACTORY. 66(OME, be my wit My star of life!" And he drew her toward his knee. Cried she, ‘Well, T'll be blessed if 1 do! “Tam sure you will,” said he, WHAT'S IN A NAME? Hunker uses very incorrect languag Winebiddle— Ves; he’s a graduate THE SEAT OF MOTION. ‘THe poctor—* Let_me feel your pulse.” Mr. Carvaway—"'Suttenly, sah, It 'peah’s t’ beat d” hardes’ jess whar d’ brick done struck.” IN JERSEY. Mrs. Mureny—‘* Pat Brogan, phat foolishness are yez up to now, puttin’ up CORRECTED. tary, Daisy he lion leaps upon his victi 8 THE CLASS—" "Teacher, he didn't read that right. Ile orter said ‘the lion leaps upon his victim's underwear." SCHOLAR (reads) PUBLIC OPINION. SEE him steppin’ by to church A-lookin’ pore an’ thin, His collar “thout a smell o' starch An’ fastened with a pin. His coat is ripped along the arm— 1 jest can't he'p but see; T want to mend him up, but, sho! The town ‘ud smile at me. His wife's ben dead two year er more, An’ folks ‘ud gossip, fer He uster go with me afore He ever weat with her. T dassent sweep his kitchen out When he was layin’ high an’ dry Or send a batch o' bread, With janders, this gone May, Or neighbor him no way at all T never felt right free to ast Fer fear o' hevin’ said Erbout him day by day. ‘Thet I'm a-settin’ out fer hima— T uster wateh the doctor pass, A widower—whilse T °N’ strike him fer the news; ‘Am older then T was, ertho’ An’ onet I sent a glass o° Onlest there's young folks nigh He never ‘spicioned whose. T look some like I uster look T know he thinks T harbor spite When he—when love-times were. Agia’ him likely, fer He uster go with me afore He knows he uster go with me He ever went with her. Alore he went with her, Ef he should die I'd hev to miss The funer', like ez not; Fer folks ‘ud watch me close to sce Ef tears was comin’ hot. An’ ef I wep’ they'd smile an’ wink, An’ ef my eyes was dry They'd "low thet some folks wouldn't keer Ef all their kin shud die, An’ ef I didn't go at all They'd jedge I dassent, fer They know he uster go with me Afore he went with her. THE SPIRIT OF THE SEASON. HE sweetest young girls of Rosebud- Ville had gathered in solemn conclave to decide what they could sacrifice during the penitential season. The lines of stern resolve that they fair features and th uality that hovered around their blonde (warranted undyed also) bangs were beautiful to behold. Mamie Talkwelle was unanimously elected president, Minnie Smiley secre- ‘aramelle treasurer; for it she who had astutely remarked, “If give up so much for so long we can put what it would have cost into the treasury and have a real jolly feast afterward.” So the girls pronounced her a cute darling and immediately put her in charge of the funds. ‘Then they discussed the momentous question of what to give up. “Let’s—let’s eat only one kind of confection, and the kind we like least,” said Lillie Lovesweets, with a little gasp of sacrifice and a pathetic quiver of her beautiful lips. But this was vetoed as altogether too tame. “Let's not buy any new bonnets for Easter! cried Dolly Dressee, with a pale face and rather wild eyes. But the intense hush that fell over the earnest group told that this was the unattainable height, and this branch of the subject was consigned to silence. Theatres, five-o'clock teas, dress in all its details, were discussed from every point of view; but while each maid declared herself as more than willing to rifice any or all of these joys, or to do anything that the others wished, each and every “ give-up” was voted too tame for such high-strung natures as belonged to the sackcloth circle. ‘At last one spectacled maiden who had kept strangely silent during the wordy discussion arose and with dreamy, devotional eyes, an erect figure and inspired voice spoke as follows: “Sisters of the circle, I think I have elucidated the problem. Let us not look into our Ibsen during the sacrificial season; and to still further prove our spirit let us not—not (tears welled up to her lovely eyes and she grasped the back of her chair for support) let us not feed our darling dogs any candy dur- ing Lent.” ‘The devotees gazed at her with awe and admiration, Hers was the spirit of genius that could combine both an intellectual and a more material sacrifice in, such an original and truly heart-rending manner. Then, clasping trembling hands and gazing into each other's misty eyes to gain courage, the sackclothians went their separate ways, resolved to keep their vows if every dainty, feather- trimmed, blanketed dog perished during their attempts. imposed upon their i of undying spirit- unawares,” W: we AA comicbooks.com