Judge, 1891-02-14 · page 5 of 16
Judge — February 14, 1891 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine features multiple short comic sketches satirizing American life. The main illustrated cartoon, "That Rope Fire-Escape," mocks inadequate hotel safety measures—a practical concern in the era before modern building codes. Mr. Baal Day, a country visitor, is reassured by a clerk that a coiled rope serves as the fire escape, which he naively trusts. The accompanying text pieces employ ethnic stereotypes typical of the period: "Enterprise!" portrays an Irish political candidate (Patrick O'Down) exploiting a fabricated story about the Pope's wife dying to gain Catholic votes—satirizing opportunistic machine politics and voter manipulation. Other brief jokes target contemporary issues: Pittsburgh's industrial pollution ("smoke-consumers"), telegraph messenger service reliability, and Valentine's Day customs. The humor relies on wordplay, misunderstandings, and light social observation rather than complex political commentary. The "Sentences Passed by the Judge" section offers philosophical reflections on happiness and human nature, suggesting the magazine balanced satire with moral commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THAT ROPE FIRE-ESCAPE, OBLIGING CLERK OF HOTEL DR MontForT (to Mr. Baal Day of Clo- vernook)—"" This coil of rope, my dear sir, is the fire-escape. At the first alarm of fire throw this end out of the window and descend hand over hand. See?" Mr, Baat Day—'You bet! I ain't climbed a slack rope all my days for nothin’, I'll git there.” ALL CONSUMERS. 66 ARE there many smoke-consumers in Pittsburg?" “Oh, yes. Pittsburg has quite a large population now.” NEEDED TIME. Cobwigger —" Why do you get the valentine so early?” Merritt—*1 once had one lost in the mails, so I intend to send this by a telegraph messenger.” ENTERPRISE! Patrick O'Down, #5¢., (candidate for the legislature) —"* An’ phwat's the news this marnin’, Mr. Editor ?" WaGGisit EDITOR —"' The pope's wife is dead.” Patrick O'Down —"* Ow ! dead, did ye say? Whisht! Kape quiet an’ O/'ll pay ye well. Write me a letter to me Cat'olic constituents expressin’ me dape sympathy wid ‘em, an’ sign it wid me name. Oi'll bate Mike O'Halloren: out o' his brogans wid that.” (Some boys start a bonfire and the curling smoke alarms Mr. Baal Day.) Mr. BAAL Day—‘*Fere we come a-sailin’, Send somebody up the( back-stairs after my clothes and silver watch under the piller in number forty- four. Whoop!" : SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. [8 MATTERS of depate it will be noticed that the controversialists are too much occupied, each with expressing his own opinion, to be impressed with the opinjon of the other. 3 Happiness comes only to the clod and to the greatest of the great. Here extremes meet. If one case it is the happiness of Ignorance, indif- ference, lack of sensation, a quiet darkness, the calm of undisturbed repose—the life which sluggishly pulses through a lump of warm, moist loam. In the other case it is a happiness-which perhaps springs like a pharnix from the ashes of an experience which might else have there terminated in despair. KATHRINE GROSJEAM, OLD SMOOTHPATE. THE reason why to church he goes Is easy to determine ; Ie likes a quiet place to doze, So he sleeps throughout the sermon, FROM FRYING-PAN TO FIRE. Miss Haydon— Miss Palmer, 1 must ask you to explain yourself. I understand you told Mrs. Palmer that my brother George was the black sheep of the family.” Miss Palmer—‘My dear Miss Haydon, it was merely a slip of the tongue, I assure you. I meant to say waste sheep.” A BRIGHT CHILD. Mr. Graham (looking at poultry)—“ You have quite a number of hens, haven't you, Ethel?” Little Ethel—" Yes, sit; but two of those hens is roosters.” OUT OF SEASON. Merritt —" Did your sister get many valentines?” Little Johnnie—"Oh, no. She is a summer girl.” TAUGHT BY EXPERIENCE. Brown —* Did your teacher look on her desk for valentines?” Little Johnnie—“ No; on the blackboard.” comicbooks.com