Judge — February 7, 1891 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

YoIcE OF HAWAII—The king is dead, long live the ueen, q ee WHAT MR. DANA. wants, governor, is a reciprocity in nominations that reciprocates. eee PRECEDENTS are made by men. Now I'll show you how men_ break . precedents.—D. Bennett Hill. eee T°? SMITH WEED—If you must travel with a brass band don’t let it get more than four miles ahead of the procession. eee ROGER Q. MILLS dresses him- self at times in the garments ofa czar; but he acts like a cow- boy and shouts to his subjects as if they were cattle. soe THE FAILURE to formally in- vite this country to contribute to the exposition at Jamaica shows how easy it is for the British gov- ernment to Jamaica mistake, ROSWELL P. FLOWER always has a fine chance to run when there is no chance of his election. Therefore we beg to congratulate R. P. F, on the probability of his nomination. A ROUGH GUESS. Mr. Arpentcourt—' I am going away into the far west for some time. I know that I shall long for your delightful society. I will think of you every- where, I will send you a real Chicago bouquet.” Miss Guster —"* Oh, how kind of you, Mr. Ardentcourt!_ I do not know just what a real Chicago bouquet is, but I suppose it is a ham; and I am so 313 are true, he was burglarized just before death’ of three million dol- lars, and the operation took so long that he didn’t have the benefit of prayers from his clergyman. Oh, never hold out that kind of temp- tation to your relatives and friends! Give what you have as you go along. The man who does that has the sweet consciation on his death-bed that his reputation is safe, and he can be robbed of nothing but his really unnecessary shroud. SMOKE? IX DENOUNCING the smoking- car Dr. Talmage has gone a step too far. The rights of ladies and very young children must be respected, and to take smokers out of their car and scatter them through the rest of the train would be ungallant and unwise. While it is admitted that tobacco is the poor man’s greatest solace and the rich man’s cheapest luxury, and that more of sociality and good will comes from tobacco for less. mon- ey than from any other harmless means to enjoyment, the proprie- ties of smoking must be observed. It may suit our ministerial Brook- lyn friend to blow his smoke into the faces of a miscellaneous as- semblage; but the average smok- fond of ham?" ee N OW THAT the unfair Eva has been shown to be Mrs. Josh Mann, it would be pleasant to learn that Robert Ray Hamilton had died in merely the Pickwickian sense. eee MB: BLAINE can better stand the charge of jingoism than he could the charge of cowardice that would be adopted by his opponents in case he took any other course in connection with the Behring-sea business. HOW TO DIE HAPPY. HE CASE of Mr. Fayerweather shows again that if you want to give away money you had better do it while living. This gives you the gratification of your own generosity, and saves such humiliation as may easily attend your memory in the unavoidable effort to break the will. ‘The late Mr. F. was burdened by his wealth in his last hours. If charges er, good fellow and good friend as he always is, adds to those tues a respect for others which will not permit him to smoke offensively to anybody. Oh, no, Brother Tal- mage. You speak the words of foolishness. The smoking-car must stay. HER PENITENTIAL GARMENT. A PATHETIC STORY is told by Elaine Goodale of an interesting young Indian woman who was badly shot at Wounded Knee. The woman wore a ghost shirt, which she supposed would ward off bullets, and carried a gun. “Take it away,” she said sadly, speaking of the shirt. “It's not sacred.” When she recovers she will go back to school and intellectually reach out for more of Uncle Sam's generosity. In other words, not being able to kill, she concludes to be penitent. We don’t know when we have heard of anything more provocative of tears, and perhaps a few casual adjectives. THEY GOT THE JOB. “« Lady, could yo’ gib me an’ my pard a job shovelin’ off yo’ sidewalk ?” “Yes; ‘but where are your shovels?” “Shovels? Whad’s de mattah wif dese?” comicbooks.com