Judge — February 7, 1891 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Peculiar” is Wood’ *<Good morning! ars soap? “Ase friends and neighbors what they thin Of Warren's safe cure!" drink Dost wobble on a dizzy br Your liver's off-take " dope” Take Cuoxvs—Your liver’s off, take dope; ‘take dope of ev'ry kind! “ Curantur dissimilibus Simitia,"$"* Pats.” quote at us; Its soundness let us not discuss, But fx our faith and “go it blind,” And“ feel like a new man"! If any ail your liver galls Philup ‘measie! mumps, tic doulenreesy Boils, bunions, warts and" dev- will pull terse name je blown in “ROOTS AND RUM.” U fpatent-medicine exultation), INE. on patent-medic ¢ paper's healing pl T've swallowed all the leading makes, ; palsy, ague-shakes, lungs, “lame legs" ‘and—snakes! ‘And “feel like a new man"! Cnorvs—And “feel like a new man.” to whom no hope would come! For rheumatiz, és gripe and out ‘And fst that makes me all bulge out— Oh, ev'ry ill I put to rout With roots and “ yards" and— good old rum, And" feel like a new man"! trash For sleepless, nights try “Rest for rats"! “Rheumatic Rifle” 's death on cats! “ Ma Windslow calms the squal- ly brats, * Pool's extract” use for water- And" feel like a new man "t Oh, doctor, dear!! when T must die attend me if you can! Give powders, lotions, plasters, Is, Elixirs, anodynes and aquills, Beef-juice and tonics, jams and jell, And—work * the good old plan.” Cuorts—And work the good old plan; the “reg’lar™ plan, by sum! And when you've done your lev el best And nearly sent me to my rest With those your," bealing art” hath 7 T'll then fall back on" roots an ‘And ™ feel like a new man"! A. BOTTLE DOLLA, @.D Stock phrase of testimonials. ¢ Patent-medi § The customary caution, + Doctors’ slang for medicine. ine man's alleged {ree translation—"A good patent medi- cine'is good for any ordinary discase."" I Three dollars a visit. A CLOSE CALL. MY BABY had "How so? a fearfully narrow escape yesterday.” “By mistake my wife left the poor little fellow alone with the nurse-girl.” Yarp-Master MULFoRD about goods getting wet in tr Fxeicnt-coxpucror — car on the for yourself been opened since we left Omaha, (Unlocks the door.) JUDGE CROSS LIGHTS. The rising youth—Elevator boy. Fit to adore—A \atch-key. A sweet loaf—Plumbers at work. A ward of merit—McAllister. The freshness of youth—Cigarette smoking. Well drilled—The eye of a needle. A waste of time—An old maid's bodice. The head craft—A scull boat. In want of washing—The laundress. The coon's prey—Chickens. A frantic rage—The shouider cape. Progress and poverty—The tramp's walk. A high-flyer—The elevated train. Coming up to the scratch—The vaccinator. Overland—The sky. The right man—One that isn't left. A nice spread—Frozen sidewalk. A corner in wheat—The end of the loaf. Human understanding—Boot-soles. AFTER MARRIAGE. He—" My dear, [am a little short of money. Could you let me have twenty thousand dollars of your million for a few days?" Sug —T have no million dollars!" £—"* Before we were married you said you were worth a million.” She—" Why, you often told me I was worth my weight in gold, and thought one hun- dred and forty-two pounds of gold was worth about a million ;, that's all A RIPPLE IN TRANSPORTATION, “There has been a great deal of complaint Mr. Phipps.” uu can't catch me this time, sir, Lool ‘There ain't a ‘Tramp (from the west)—* For heaven's sake, gents, gimme some water I" in this one and see comicbooks.com