Judge — January 31, 1891 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

© L sce 1am two nickels out,’ Said Charles, and wheeled his chair about To sneeze the smoke the other way. “ This poor tobacco doesn’t pay.” 7 ‘Then up spoke Jack: The cabbage kind Is never to my health and mind. Tsmoke the kind for king or queen— Why don't you get the Nickri—tn ?” Cigars for sale only at our stores. ‘Did the plumber come down to inspect the pi this morning" "Ves." What did he say ?" Ohi said there was nothing the matter, but he could very soon remedy that."—New York Sun, Sitting Bull's language was a conglomeration of pure Sioux, impure English, and decayed Freach. When he swore he used all three languages so fluently that the recording angel with his stenographer and type- writer could not take down and charge up all his oaths. —Grand Rapids Herald, Young Mooncalf—* Do you know, Miss Wosy, that —aw—that I've been weflecting a gweat deal wecently, and I've hawlf a mind—I've—aw—hawlf a mind”— Miss Rosy —"* Never mind repeating it, Mr. Mooncalf : it's far above the popular estimate but I'll concede you that much.""—Boston Courier, ‘When Baby was sick, we gave ber Castoria, ‘When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria. When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria, When she had Children, she gave them Castoria, Mrs, Garrulus —"* Oh, Lawyer Briefs, we are getting up a masked ball and want you to attend, of course, so you must decide on your costume and get it ready.” Mr. Garrulus (who does not like Briefs) —"* Why don’t you go as Necessity?” Brie/s—"* Why? Mother of invention?" Afr, Garrulus—" No! Because * Neces- sity knows no law !'"—Boston Traveller. Every factory and workshop in the land should keep on hand Salvation Oil. 25 cents. ‘The most reliable family medicine for coughs and colds is Dr. Bull's Cough Syrup. The way was long, the wind was cold, ‘The actor was infirm and old, But he sped along on the railroad track And he never smiled nor once looked back. For off in the town he had left behind With its whistling, whisker-fluttering wind, He had seen an omen of all things ili— A weird, many-itemed hotel bill —Dramatic Mirror, ASK FOR Packer's ‘Tar Soap Tho ideal for Toilet, Bath and Shampoo. It pos- seases hygienic qualities not found in any other ap, and has, for years, enjoyed the preference of physicians, : All Druggists. 25 cents, DRINK A FOE TO FATIGUE. Made from Prime Lean Beef, by ARMOUR & CO., Chicago. CENTS PACKAGE An all-tobaceo, Long Filler Cigarett The ‘Inited States government refuses longer to spell + Bering with an ‘‘h.” Surely John Bull will not object to our dropping an'“' h.'"—Lowisville Courier-Journal. When the Young Men's Christian Association of Chicago begins to serve the Lord in a fourteen.story building, prayer for protection from cyclones will bein order.—Louisville Courier-Journal. BOKER'S BITTERS since 1828 acknowledged to be by far the best and finest Stomach Bitters made, wheth- er taken pure or with wines or liquors or other cordials. Privy councillor —* My deat captain, you might do me a favor. I should like to dine off roast goose to- morrow,” Captain —"* Yes; but what can I do in the matter?" Privy councillor — Kruger, your corporal, is my cook's sweetheart. Just tell him to intimate in a casual way this evening that he is fond of roast goose.” —Fremdenblatt, Drummer —" Vere is my card, sit. This is my first trip on the road. I neither drink, smoke nor swear. I know little about human nature, and care less. I am independent, as you see, and you can buy my goods or not, as you please.” Provincial merchant (wearily)— “Too late. That dodge has been worked on me six times already to-lay.""—Clothier and Furnisher. Mns, Wixstow’s Sootiina Syrup for Children Teething ; soothes the child, softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind colic and diarrhoa, 25 cents a bottle, ‘A small goat ate a tomato can And then eight pounds of nails, He finished his meal, by way of dessert, By consuming four large fence rails. He said to himself with a jovial smile, As off to his home he ran : “I'm sure the nails can't disturb me, But I think the tomato can.” —Yale Record. HE PLEASANT VALLEY WINE COMPANY. Wis) RHEIMS, STEUBEN CO. NEW YORK. THIS is the finest Champagne pro- duced in America, and compares favorably with European vintages. A Natural, Genuine Cham. | pagne, fermented in the bottle, two years being required to perfect the wine, Our Stocet and Dry Catawba and Port are, like all our wines, made from selected grapes, and are Pure Wines. For Prices, Address as Above. PHILU - oicesTIBLEK OCOa Unequaled for Delicacy of Flavor and Nutri- tious Properties: Easily Digested. Different from all other Cocoas. ‘+ Sullivan reminds me of a great religious leader.” ‘You mean when he leads the right?” ‘*No; John Knox,"—Philadelphia Times, Angostura Bitters, the world-renowned South Ameér- ican appetizer, cures dyspepsia, etc. Dr. J. G. BsSieg- ert & Sons, sole manufacturers. At all druggists. ‘And not the moccasin is worn, First there’s discomfort ; squeezed of toes ; Then comes the Indian corn. —Waskington Star, Sh—h—h, child! Young people should be silent when older people are talking,” said a fond mother to her hopeful who was talking too much, to the annoyance of several elderly persons. “Then when shall young people talk, mamma? Old people are never silent,” was the reply of the cherub.—Zexas Siftings. ENNSYLVANIA TOURS! TO THE COLDEN CATE, Affording a visit of THREE WEEKS in GALIFORNIA. ‘THE TOURISTS TRAVEL BY A Superbly Appointed Train Counterpart of the Pennsylvania Limited. ag, | MARCH Ss 1051. Dates of Starting, | Maron 20, 12801. APRIL 14, 1891. EXCURSION TICKETS, pens tod" accuses So route in di ns. and side trips to San Diego, River- side, Pasadena, Santa Barbara, Monterey, and San José (Mt. Wann) from New York. Philadelphia, Baltimore, and $275.00 FOR THE FIRST, SECOND, AND THIRD, AND $300.00 FOR THE FOURTH. TOURIST AGENT AND CHAPERON ACCOMPANY THE PARTY, For itinerary containing full information address GEO. W. BOYD, Assistant Gi Passenger Agent, Philadelphia, Pa, CHAS. E. PUGH, J. R. WOOD, ‘General Manager. Gen'l Passenger Agent, te ‘OWNER OF Han yERY o HOULD t PARN FRANK MILLERS HARNESS DRESSING, Stationers, Printers, and Blank-book Manufacturers, 146 NASSAU STREET, Opposite the Tienes Bidg., NEW YORK. Sa J BS sianx nooks o7 ALL xivps Err 1M STOCK AND MADE TO ORDER. ESTIMATES PUEISHED. , B Typewriter Papers and Supplies. a 1*« BARKER BRAND LINEN COLLARS ABSOLUTELY BEST. Ww SS HEALTH AND VIGOR FOR BRAIN AND NERVES. CROSBY'S VITALIZED PHOSPHITES. Prepared according to the formula of Prof. Pei Wheat and Oat.” The only Vital Phospurre extract r—trom the nerve-givit inciples of the Braim of the Ox and germ of the from animal pan etable t 2 veget issue—the principle that maintain bodily and the most delicious and” whol ‘smoke ever offered for the money. CONSOLIDATED CIGARETTE CO, ‘Ave. D and roth St., New York. mental fowers, It eireagthens the iaieiec, Increases the capacity for mental labor, and restores Viger lost by excestive Brats ‘work and anxiety. It is speciadly usetul to College Students, Athictes and overworked Business men. It is not a” patent medi cine”; the formula is on every label, approved by the best Physicians, and the world’s best Brain Workers, Druggists, or sent by. mall $1. Desenptive pamphlet fr.” CROSBY CO., 56 WEST 25th St., NEW YORK. ws LEWIS G. TEWKSBURY, BANKER AND BROKER, 50 BROADWAY, NEW YORK.