Judge — January 10, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE HONESTEST MAN. HE honestest man be preached to me fas grand as grand may be ; ‘A sermon that cleaved the very skies ‘And opened the gates of paradise ; Bat be ain't claimin’ the saintship plan, He's only just the honestest man. Always by deed, never by word, Eloquence only by angels hear Lived in this town for forty year, Pavin’ his way to title clear, True toa mill in every plan— He's always just the honestest man. Many a soul I know he’s saved, Many a wounded spirit laved, Setting truth's beacon-light afar By God’s own throne, star of a star: ‘And always just the honestest man. I've been tempted, but he was by, I'm a-knowin’ Ifitle from books, Preachin’ that sermon from out his eye; But there's a sumpthin’ I say in'looks, ‘That humble way of doin’ good ‘And more in deeds, defy who can Even the meanest understood, God's own pow'r through honestest man. And they were plum sure to change their plan Ab! there’s'a crown in faith's mighty van Standin® there by the honestest man. Waitin’ for him, the honestest man. GRAMMATICO- MUSICAL. Mrs, Bardington (writing) —“ Mr. Bardington, is the word ‘band '— a brass band, you know — singular or plural?” ute A MONGOLIAN DELICACY. Mr. Bardington —* Well, my dear, 1 should say that depends upon Meat Santon ET iBoagit issue yoeteat Gite barn to Wont eres whether the musicians keep together or not.” UN HUNG (the Chinese servant)—"Hens no layee. Bling in nlest, Makee belly good sloup.” EVERYTHING GOES UP. 4 VERYBODY knows that Jumbly, when alive, was a wretch to his wife, but the pretty widow said the other day that she was positive he had gone to heavei “Yes; I believe nearly everything has gone up since the McKinley bill went into effect.” A TWO-EDGED SWORD. He—" Did you know Miss Grayson had just finished a novel she’s writing and that you had been studied for the main points of her leading character ?* She—"No. Why, 1 do feel complimented.” He—Yes, At the turning-point of the whole story she puts her heroine. in one of your charming evening toilettes.” TO DOROTHY. [? FAITH, 2 dainty chatelaine, T'truth, ‘tis sad alone to sigh, With beauty blessed and pride ; A prisoner to love, A bunch of keys upon a chain While you a bird of freedom fly, Hangs dangling at thy side. ‘A captious wood-nymph rove. Each key will open some poor heart And yet, you're locked within each breast — Thou didst not seck to win. At least you're held in mine— Unlock each door and thou wilt start While I, in chains, can find no rest To find thyself within. Within that heart of thine. A CHANGED MAN. ‘She—" How changed Mr. Banks is. He is so moody and dreamy, and he used HERS? VIEW OF TReuee to pride himself on being so practical and business-like and couldn't tolerate any- re we body who wasn’t. Uncte HENrIN (who has taken an abnormally large chew ae ° just before the collection) —'* Thanks. You're tartible kind, but I He—Yes. He wrote and proposed to a young lady the other day on his kin hold it till T git outside.” office-paper and she declined him on a. postal-card.”” POSSIBLE TITLES OF FUTURE BOOKS. A REVISED History of Delaware County. By Jay Gould. H Whistling Made Easy; or, The Labial Road to Wealth. By Mrs. Alice Shaw. What I Know about Polite Society in Paris; to which are added some par- ticulars of my intimacy with the pope. By Buffalo Bill. The Still, Small Voice. By Signor Campanini. Acrobatic Christianity; or, How to Make Preaching Pay. By T. DeWitt Talmage. How I Became a Great Writer. By Laura Jean Libbey. The Use and Abuse of the Toothpick. By Ward Mcallister. Histrionie Perfection; or, How I Got There. By John L. Sullivan. me Practical Hints on the Art of Patience. By the eldest son of Queen Victoria. LRON MEAD. A DISCIPLE OF WARD MCALLISTER. Teacher — Johnny Cresus, how is it you never have your grammar son 2” Johnny —“\ expect to go into society when I grow up.” MARITAL COMPLICATIONS. “Congratulate me, Bailey; I'm going to be your brother-in-law.” Why, my dear fellow, you can't be my brother-in-law. I have eA, in : McGuvr (just out)—'* Begor! av t'ings in this counthry ain't ac- Bagley —* What! have you so soon forgotten the lovely Miss Hendricks?” — comydatin’, a lyin’, Even th’ grub comes widout rachin' fer it.”” comicbooks.com