Judge, 1891-01-03 · page 6 of 16
Judge — January 3, 1891 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short humorous pieces typical of late-19th/early-20th-century American satire: **"Force of Habit"** mocks an absent-minded doctor making new-year house calls who automatically examines a healthy patient by reflex, then awkwardly apologizes. **"One of Those Fatherly Men"** shows a lecherous older man approaching a young traveling actress, who aggressively rejects his advances with threats—satirizing predatory behavior toward vulnerable women performers. **"Equal to the Occasion"** jokes about a stage actress improvising when a suicide-scene prop gun misfires, blaming "smokeless powder"—poking fun at theater adaptability and contemporary ammunition technology. **"Obliquity of Vision"** features a humorous anecdote about grafting rabbit cornea onto a man's eye. The remaining pieces are light domestic humor: a doctor's wife's homemade slippers with poor fit, bargain hunting, and a diary that won't stay organized. The **photograph name-cards cartoon** shows office chaos when a boy tries reassembling mixed-up portrait labels—visual humor about workplace mishaps.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE 1 TAUNT THEE, GRAY OLD FATHER TIME. TAUNT thee, gray old Father Time, For to my prophet-gaze appears Go sweep thy scythe across the years; The singer's laurel-wreath sublime ; i Thou canst not mar my muse’s prime I taunt thee, gray old Father Time, Nor dim my smile with moody tears. Go sweep thy scythe across the years. I bend not with the broken spheres, Nor heed the clang of bell and chime ; My soul a far-off echo hears Of blessings on my happy rhyme ; T taunt thee, gray old Father Time, Go sweep thy scythe across the years, ERNEST MC GAFTRY. FORCE OF HABIT. Doctor (absent-minded, making new- year calls) —“ Well, what's wrong with you now?” (Feeling her pulse.) ‘Let me see your tongue.” She (surprised) —“ Why, doctor, I never felt better in my life!” Doctor (greatly embarrassed) —I beg your pardon. Happy new year to you!” ONE OF THOSE FATHERLY MEN. Mr. BLacwortH—'Is this seat engaged, my daughter?" Miss Perkie Deaves (of a traveling aggregation) —* Look here, you bald-headed old: forgiver. I'm not your daughter, and I’m glad of it; and_if you don't gallop into the next car I'll ruin an umbrella on you! See?” . EQUAL TO THE OCCASION. N A country theatre the heroine is supposed to commit suicide, but the pistol misses fire at the critical moment. In no way discon- certed, the humble disciple of Melpomene cries out, “I die the first victim of smokeless powder!” FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE, GHE worked a pair of slippers and she sent them with her love. At first I felt quite flattered—she's a darling little elf— Nuxse—" That accounts for it. Somebody sent him a bouquet this morning But when I tried them on and found such room below, above, and he ate it. He thought it was a cabbage." I knew then why she'd never fashioned slippers for herself. OBLIQUITY OF VISION. Nursk—"' Doctor, what did you graft on to that fellow’s eye the other day?” SURGEON —"* A piece of the cornea of a rabbit.” AN EXCELLENT BARGAIN. Mrs. Bargan Hunter —How much are your handkerchiefs ?” Ketchem (the clerk, glibly) “These séll at thirty cents, and these at twenty; but if you take one of each you may have them for twenty-five cents apiece.” Mrs, Bargan Hunter (eagerly) —“T'll take half adozen.” And she goes home satisfied. HARD TO KEEP. FALL the things I ever kept This is the most infer- nal— I mean the thing that is | yclept SIN ‘ 3 HA diary or journal. NLY when we're its THE ACCIDENT TO OUR PHOTOGRAPH -CASE. victims is it human ied" during the summer, and our office-boy has attempted to replace the name-cards where they respectively That we should blame in- be'ong, with indifferent success, constancy in woman. comicbooks.com