Judge, 1891-01-03 · page 5 of 16
Judge — January 3, 1891 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects various short satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's format. The main cartoon, "The Santa Claus of the Poor," contrasts wealthy Christmas abundance with a poor street vendor selling cheap dolls—critiquing economic inequality during the holiday season. Other pieces mock social pretension and human nature: a self-proclaimed "reformer" is told to mind his manners; a farmer misunderstands medical directions; a boarder complains about dinner timing; and a woman insults a man's appearance (appearing Irish, based on dialect). The humor ranges from domestic comedy ("The Husband" about shoveling snow) to commentary on contemporary figures like Henry George, the 19th-century economist. One piece satirizes a snobbish man pretending to be aristocracy who's shocked by a woman's forwardness. The overall tone reflects Judge's blend of class-conscious humor, gender dynamics, and commentary on American social climbing and hypocrisy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE THE SANTA CLAUS OF THE POOR. THE Christmas brightness shines within, Upon the sidewalk Santa Claus, ‘The buyers come and go; Of poverty the king, ‘The Christmas packages are white Cries out his dolls of cheaper mould, To match the driving snow ; ‘They neither talk nor stag; The Christmas basket heaped with wealth And one poor mother gives her all Gleams green and gold and brown, To niake the morning shout And Christmas air and Christmas health Of one poor child, and dinnerless Fill all the happy town. Will watch the Christmas out, HINTS TO A REFORMER. HE PRESENTED himself at the editor's door saying, “Sir, 1 am the great American reformer. Do you want an interview with me?” “Yes; wipe your feet, take off your hat, stop chewing that tobacco and sit down.” FOLLOWED DIRECTIONS. Farmer Yoeman—" Doc., that quinine and whisky don’t do me and my wife no good. The ague has got ahold of both on us yet.” Doctor —"Do you take it according to directions ?” Farmer Yoeman—"Yep. Mother takes the quinine and I take the HIS FIRST EXPERIENCE. Elderly party (from Cohoes, who has just finished dining at a New York hotel) —* Waiter! this here card says that dinner is served from five to seven. I've eaten everything on the list and it’s only six o'clock. If I've got to stay here until seven you've got to get me a newspaper 'r a book 'r something.” FOREWARNED. WINTER always tells me more Than the sunimer. Now I know When my rival's there before, By his footprints in the snow. HIS PREFERENCE. Mrs. Slimdiet— “ What part of the chick- en shall I give you, Mr. Goodféed ?” Boarder —** All but the neck.” MORE THAN HE COULD STAND. Donetty (in the ditch) —"* Oi've woorked beside Oyetolians an’ Hingarians an’ aven na- gurs; but, begor! if a felly wid a face loike yours is comin’ in th’ trinch Oi gets out !” YTS woman draws us with so fine a thread, Man, blinded, thinks he leads when he is led. THE NEW LEAF. HALE in joy and half in griet Time turns over a new leaf; Every leaf is a new year— Pray that it be filled with cheer! On the new page just begun Shines out 1891! Let us give time reverence due, Turn over a new leaf too. cam A MODERN INSTANCE. Gazzam—"In ancient times men had no surnames.” Mrs. Gazzam — Some don't now.” Gazzam—" Indeed ?” Mrs. Gaszam—" Yes; there's Henry George, for instance.” WHAT SHE KNEW. ‘eMISS AMY, do.you know anything of the game laws?” / “Oh, yes, Mr. Dolley.” “ What, for instance?” “Never trump your . part- ner’s ace.” * THE HUSBAND. OUT OF ‘HIS ELEMENT. “You're white as a sheet, Clarence! What is th’ mattah?” Mr. VAN STEENBERG (tho ts masquerading as Henry I11,)—"' That horwibly forward young lady ovah there actually awsked me to get her an ice, and I haven't b-been intwoduced to her at all!" NOW doth he take up sorrow's cup, : And finds it full of woe ; For soon his wife will wake him up To shovel off the snow. comicbooks.com