Judge — December 27, 1890 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HUM OF THE COURT. H's GRIEF no words can palliate who has no funds to celebrate. HANG UP your stocking, Harrison, and get the people's praise, “ Well done.” THE STOCKING in the fireside’s glow must bulge all round from top to toe. A CHRISTMAS WISH—That every spinster may find her man and every bachelor his spinster. WE HOPE that before another Christmas the Hon. William Nye will take a scalp and learn how to comb his hair. FULL STOMACH and a full stocking on Christmas to e¥en the enemy; but he must look out for his own dyspepsia. SANTA CLAUS must look out for the electric wires; otherwise he'll come to his end long before he comes to that of his journey. ‘THERE IS A SHADOW of hope for the mean man with no Christmas in him, for he does some little justice to humanity by hating himself. THe BANKER—" Where is he?" ‘THE BANKER'S DAUGHTER—"‘ Papa, Haworth Daingerfield is at least manly. When he heard your terrible invectives as you came down-stairs, he strode out haughtily with the remark that he loved me too much to make a scene.” THE RECALL of Mizner failed to partake of the nature of an encore, perhaps because it was too late to get somebody to continue the performance by killing another man. © MAN can make others happy without finding that he has unconsciously been doing that very thing for himself. Give everybody a farm on Christmas and there'll be no need of dying to go to glory. 'HE KAISER, according to an exchange, let himself out at a recent conference on higher ed- ucation ; but when he said that education was the best cure of socialism it might have been appropriate to call himself in. ‘4 JO." SAID ST. PETER to an applicant for admission, “There were several empty stockings on your block, and you didn’t contribute to them so much as the hope that somebody else would fill them, Take the road to the left and march on.” Or, “A COMPARISON, Youne Lapy—"‘ Jack, you do so remind me of a gentleman I met at the De Robinsons’ last Christmas.” Jack (interested) Indeed?” Younc Lapy—** Yes; he was an odd-looking, in- significant little fellow. Everybody was laughing at him.” (Jack is delighted.) MB. DANA will find in his stocking, not the senatorship, but a large amount of Herald reading-matter advertising for which he never paid acent. THE WOMEN of the Methodist Episcopal church want to be permitted to join in church discus- sions; but really, really! some little time ought to be given the parson to do the preaching. THE EMPTY STOCKING on Christmas morn- ing tells of an emptiness of heart for which the judicious as well as the humane should grieve. It is cruelty that cannot be repaired in a year. LORD TENNYSON was asked to write a comic opera for a thousand dollars. So we do not believe he is half as old as he looks, whatever may be the tenderness of the man who did the asking. ENRY STANLEY often remarks, up! If you say another word I'll repeat the story of the rear guard.” ‘Then you can hear a pin drop, and that's how he keeps peace in Ais family. THE DEMOCRATIC majority in Virginia this ‘ i c year is over sixty-four thousand. When one ANCE ee Coounor ‘ . AUNT ROSANNA—"'T took the liberty of instructing your modiste to have your ball-dresses cut looks back to the fall of Richmond one feels how with regard to the requirements of what promises to be a cold winter, my dears,” alarmingly that town has resumed its perpendicular, CLEMENTINE—"* We don’t get half a show, do we, Bess?” comicbooks.com