Judge — December 20, 1890 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A DISCOURAGER OF PIETY. It was a yreat pity that on Dick Withers's first appearance in church in ten years his small nephew should add a decoration which proved more than interesting to the family cat, HUM OF THE COURT. R. CLEVELAND has come to be known as Old-man-afraid-of-his- correspondence. THE ABSENCE of the Hon. Tippy Tib explains much that is curious in the late ghost-dancing of the Indian rear guard. N CANADA a convicted murderer is not allowed several further trials, and does not live to enjoy at public expense the bouquets of several lingering summers. ‘THERE WILL presently be another experiment in electrocution, and the foolishness that advises its abandonment will then droop its ears and hold its powerful jaw. («THE COUNTRY has spoken,” says the Hartford Times, Yes; and hereafter when it wants to talk in that tone of voice we hope it will keep its mouth shut HE TELEPHONE was invented mostly to excuse men for using ex- pletives and to enable them to say they'll call presently and deliver the message at close quarters. REBELLION in southern Rus- sia resulted in the killing of several hundred peasants and the further glory of the czar. Might it not be well for the surviving rebels to get together? THEY ARE getting up another birthday dinner to A. G. Thur- man. Allen must have about six birthdays a year now, and the years are whirling around with frightful velocity. TAILOR in’ Cleveland was much put out by the elope- ment of his wife with another man, but when he heard that the man was bow-legged he was so shocked that he wanted to kill himself. LARA MORRIS says in her diary, speaking of carly ex- periments on the wire, “I can sup- port myself with two brooms.” Of late years she has retained the sticks and dispensed with the brushes. EN A noted man gets out” ess the press imme- its him to some news- paper with a salary of half a million but we know of no instance 5 HAS COST the British ax-payers sixteen and a half millions, and his private debts are said to be half as much more. ‘There can be no doubt as to his royal blood—the symptoms are un- mistakable. ENATOR QUAY says he recently caught a fish six feet nine inches long that weighed one hundred and fifty-five pounds. See here, Matthew! we are not talking about Republican majorities now, but fish—fish. MB: POWDERLY thinks well of the farmers’ alliance, and yet in most cases the farmer's hired man works from sunrise to sun- down in summer and takes care of the stock for his board throughout cold weather. BIRCHALL, according to an exchange, “went to his death with the pluck of a prize-fighter.” We know of nobody better calculated for the business, and that part of his career will be many times recalled with the utmost gratification. SINCE THE ELECTION of Governor Gordon to the senate we have not that confidence in the farmers’ alliance that enables us to com- pliment without compunction its knowledge of the ungathered bean or the one in the open bag. THE AGE OF SURPRIS Mrs. Brixsmrap—"} want something that will inculcate an object- SALESMAN—"" Be careful, young man! 1 woulda’t fool with that —- When I buy you a toy I —donkey !" comicbooks.com