Judge — December 13, 1890 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE INAPPROPRIATENESS OF NAMES. A_MUTUAL FRIEND— Will you allow me to present Mr, Hector Nor- man- Charlemagne — and — PREDICTED that next year Charlie Ross will be discovered “ine times in as many different disguises. eieite R. SITTING BULL wants to make the Sioux a Christmas present of the United States of America. Para D2: KOCH is using a lymph as a benefactor that will preserve his name to the end of time and considerably thereafter. J, |: SULLIVAN, actor, falls through windows and kicks his manager's * spine with a fidelity to nature that brings tears to many eyes. ere AY GOULD rides the whirlwind with conspic but as he made it he knows how high it will toss and how much it will bear. MB..GLADSTONE would have spoken quite as well if he had said nothing in his note to Mr. Morley regarding the Irish leadership. ‘THE RICHEST woman in Baltimore has decided to retire from the world; which means, we suppose, that she is going to move to Philadelphia. eee MAYOR GRANT having been seriously mentioned for presi- dent, the office must have begun to go paupering with melancholy success. Bie oe F ALL GREAT MEN who have made the mistake of Parnell were to resign we should have to let many highly responsible positions to the lowest bidder. see JOHN ROGERS showed his wife a fine new carving-knife that he had bought for the Christmas turk ind the lady got so frightened that the papers have been advertising her ever since. “Thaven't been so grieved and surprised since I was burned at the stake,” says Mr. Rogers with real tears. THE POT AND THE KETTLE. ‘THE TORY PRESS belaboring Mr. Parnell for being found out gives rise to something like a suspicion that the best society of England is tolerably decent after all. But if there were equal severity of judgment in the case of Albert Edward would that gentleman ever be king of England? Would there be anybody fit to serve as a part of his court or parliamentary cabinet? Would not all the rulers of Europe have to retire to private life? Mr. Ram—"* Awful, Mr. McGizzard?" B. PARTINGTON SHILLABER. RS, PARTINGTON, genial and kindly and unconsciously dispensing philosophy as well as good will, met her friends over there with her accustomed smile. “I am truly glad to see you,” she said, adjusting her metaphorical spectacles the better to do so.“ We had a pretty good time before we died, though it was bothersome to adjust our clothing to the climacteric changes that so frequently sprung upon us like a leper seeking whom he might climinate. One of them sent me here, and I find J have left my rheumatiz behind, because "—she looked around with a mild curiosity as if she had forgotten something—“I don't seem to have my lower limbs with me. And that reminds me. I must have forgotten Isaac, too. I think if there were any weeping here I should have to bor- row a handkerchief. Isaac was a little wild and imperturbable, but he never ran riotous with his mischievous adversity, and he always suspected my feelings with the most vigorous intentness.” She paused, in a reflect- ive mood, and asked gently, “‘ Has anybody seen Paul? - I do not refer to the epistle of that name, but to Mr. Partington, who used to have a gro- cery without anything wet and deleterious in it.” She drew a long sigh, or tried to draw one, and then asked timidly, “ Has anybody a needle and thread with him? Because I want to sew on my wings and give suppres- sion to the pinions of them.” AN INCLEMENT SEASON. “Terrible weather, isn’t it?" Everything’s so damp I can't keep my hors curled.” comicbooks.com