Judge — December 13, 1890 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATKS AND CANADA, IN ADVANCE. ‘One copy, one year.or sa numbers - $5.00 ‘One copy, six months, or 26 numbers = 2.50 ‘One copy’ for 13 weeks Including the Chmisraras Jub FOREIGN SU eign countrics im the posta $6 @ year THE JUDGE PUBLISHING ComPANY (Junce ButLpine) Cor. Fifth Ave, and 16th St., New York. (97 We guarantee advertiters a larger circulation at cheaper rates than any other American satirical paper published. van is for sale at 17 Avenue de COpera, Parit, and by the Amer wospaper agency at 15 King William street, Strand, W.C., London. = HONORABLE Mr. Cody is present the fighting will now begin.— General Miles. LAST WORDS of William, the insane king of Holland —“I have a soft schnapps.” T LOOKED for a time as if the whole financial world would lose its Barings, THERE PREVAILS an injpression that Blaine stock has gone'as high as the very McKinley prices. ST: PETER to Jay Gould— You Zovgo right over there. ‘That stock nedtls watering more than ours does.” YALE WEARS the blue ribbon not as a demonstration of principle, but for purposes that are mostly ornamental. [It IS SO KIND and courteous in Cleveland and Hill to insist that each would make a better senator than the other. *¢COME, on thy sw spirit of the fall,” says a poet. Yes, wild spirit; and try and get here with both of them. GOVE g feet, wild NOR HILL likes to attend other people's weddings; but when his own comes off he will send his regrets instead. MB: LAMONT is totally out of poli- other when her ole tics. When he goes to see your “THY: PARSON friend the governor he does it to con- Mr. Cates mountain, an’ waded Sim: verse about the crops. A MAN in Boston recently fatally stabbed himself with a but died mostly of regret because he hadn't been literary use a quill. FOR YEARS the Democratic editor cried out,"* The surplus ought to be in the hands of the people.” Now it is there, and yet he growls like a dog with a sore head. MB SUCCI is hereby informed that the Democratic party lived more than a quarter of a century without the slightest sustenance — though, to be sure, it might better have died. JHE GHOST-DANCING of the Democratic party must inevitably cease before the grass grows. Nobody can dance on nothing for any length of time without finding himself hanged. A DEMOCRAT of Mi whiskered band-master,” turns the crank of the hand-organ in the Cleveland side-show, and he can’t even play the flute, igan refers to Don M. Dickinson as “a side- Mr. Dickinson is not a band-master. He A LENGTHY INTERRUPTION, Mr. CATES (of the moonshine district) —"' You started t' marry us this mornin’, parson, an’ got as far as askin’ us whether we'd hev each Il, we've swum Snake river, clum over Bald 's swamp: an’ now that we've shook him, we wanter say ‘yes’ an’ wind up th’ ceremony.” R. BLAINE said “ Good-morning, sir,” to Mr. Thacher of the world’s- fair commission; whereupon Mr. Thacher clevated his eyebrows and remarked severely, “Why, see here! that’s politics,” and refused to say a word on that subject or any other. eee OLONEL SHEPARD announces with frantic haste that reciprocity is protection and that it is the policy of the Republican party. If a feather were to cling to the colonel’s bearded cheek he would immediately announce that he had caught a flock of bald-headed eagles. eee ‘ STHE WET WEEKS of November,” says the editor of the Courser- Journal,“ reveal many feet that are not prett We have told this man often enough to wear blinders and check his head so high that he can see nothing but the sky. Does he want to be shocked to death ? THE PROPRIETY OF TRUTH. HE TRUTH should be used sparingly. It is not plentiful, and it is rude and disagreeable to the last degree. To prevaricate gently and with good in view is necessary to peace and good form in society, in politics, in business, and most other things. Shall you say bluntly, “I do not wish to see you,” rather than, “ My friend, | am unavoidably not at home"? Shall you condemn the commanding-general in the middle of a battle, rather than be- fore or after that particular issue is decided? During these holidays there are, as during all the other days, men who ought to have neither bird nor blessings, neither good will nor the convivial wine; but to say “ God bless us all with the exception of the Smiths” would be to break the har- mony and create unpleasantness and unprofitable quarrel and dissension. So, heaven bless us in the lump, for verily there are men who think of us as we think of them; and as to the bad and unwise Republicans who helped lead their party this year, let us say, after the meat and the pudding of good will, “S'elp us, they shall not do it in ‘ninety-one.”” B. H. ON THE SITUATION. "THE MESSAGE of the president is characteristically vigorous in style and sensible in ideas, The review of the political situation shows something to regret but more to hope for; and public sentiment regarding the tariff bill in 1892 is not to be prejudged by any expression regarding it in the late elections, as the president believes. The message shows entire harmony between the president and Mr. Blaine; and it is certainly worth while to con- sider whether fair play with regard to congressional elections is not to be desired rather than the system which now prevails, Read that message all the way through. It marks out the programme for Republican success. TIME BY THE FORELOCK. W'TH HILL as senator Jones would be governor and Sloat Fassett, president pro tem. of the senate, would be the acting licutenant- governor. The lieutenant is by courtesy of specch the governor, and in certain events, as in case of the impeachment of his superior, he would be the governor in fact. We beg to congratulate Governor Fassett in ad- vance of his election by the people. NO FISH WITHOUT BONES. A CRY OF REGRET mingles with the mugwump shriek of triumph. The Republican party is beaten, but, alas! it is beaten by Democratic votes. Sing the sorig of praise and thanksgiving, but wear sackcloth be- cause the Tammany tiger is successful too. Is there, however, any other way? Votes are necessary to Republican discomfiture, and where are they to come from if not from the Democratic party? There must be further reform. The mugwump vote must count a thousand to every ballot ; or, better still, the mugwump voice must say who shall rule and who ruined, without the trouble and expense of balloting. comicbooks.com