Judge, 1890-11-29 · page 13 of 20
Judge — November 29, 1890 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily an **advertising page** from Judge magazine, with one notable satirical poem at the top. ## The Satire The poem "Homer Popularized for Chicago" is a mock-heroic parody mocking **Philip Armour**, the Chicago meatpacking magnate. It mimics Homer's *Iliad* style, treating Armour as an epic hero "strode forth to boss things at the stock-yard stalls." The joke: elevating a commercial butcher to Homeric grandeur. The poem jokes about his power over cattle and includes a dig at **George Pullman** (the railway car manufacturer), with a whimsical anecdote about Armour's "spear" being so bright it tricks roosters and Pullman about the time. The satirical point: Chicago's industrial tycoons treated as mythological figures—deflating their self-importance through absurdist classical allusion. ## The Rest The page is dominated by period **advertisements**: patent medicines (Cuticura Soap, Londonderry Water), beauty products, bicycles (Columbias), and employment schemes—typical Judge revenue. One small reference jokes that a Millet painting of pig-killers bought by a Chicagoan needs "expert criticism."
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
DELICATE, DELIGHTFUL, LASTING AND ECONOMICAL. ene RATT ee (Once used @ry re JAS. S. KIRK &CO CO., Chicago. MOOR HURYs FACIAL GOA scalp, at Drugglst or by Mail, FOR STRENCTH NOURISHMENT 4x> REFRESHMENT, ARMOUR & CO., Chicago, Sole Mfrs. ELK, SSE ates, chop fot Paetee and Let, ALLEN, Tasttuisg MANDAN, 3D. Lanhonerry al Ta re Radically cures ne pied Sediealy cures RHEUMATISM, GOUT, DYSPEPSIA, GRAVEL, And all Kidney complaints. 400 Physlclane agree that It le the beat water on the market, Mate Of%ce, Nasbas, New York, 823 Broadway. Send for Pamphlet. PERSONAL BEAUTY ACQUIRE and RETAIN IT. How to remore Pimples, Wrinkles Freckles ‘and So Hairs te Develop the Form; to Tocrease or Raine packer the Hair, Brows a ‘and to Beautify the Complexion. A book of interest to every lady, Mailed (oeled) for @ cent, to pay postage It contains many hints, teso- smepialsand valuable receipe (ely prepared st Nome), and shows how to New York Gy. ‘T LOTION PURIFIES AND BEACTIEIES THE BRIN, tenes coma Mt dreggide erty mal, GO Sumpig 10 ca. (by wat. $15.2 tn $750.2 Sear Bere ‘Who an furnish ‘a horse and Ress. ‘Spare moments may be profitably employed also, few vacancies in towns and ci 'B. F. JOHNSON & CO. tooy Main St., Richmond, Va. DEVECTIVES Grannan Detective Bureau Go. 44 Arete Gatessil HOMER’ POPULARIZED FOR CHICAGO. Ere from the east the many-tinted morn Peeped at the seas of lo! the poor Indian corn, The ox-eyed Armour from his perfumed halls Strode forth to boss things at the stock-yard stalls ; Nor paused to take a joy-impelling nip Pleasing alike to stomach, palate, lip— Provoking mirth, yet, taken often, brings The ache engendering jag and such like things. About his form a purple webs he wars ‘And in his hand his shining weapon bore— The becf-producing spear ! whose lightning blow Failed not to fell the corn-fed cattle low ! The buil-eyed bull, likewise the steer-eyed steer, The cow-eyed cow, stood not before that spear; Last, but not least, full many a calf-eyed veal Had ‘felt the fatal force of Armour’s steel. The girth thereof measured from left t0 right And vice versa differed not a mite ; ‘Three cubits long in-length did it extend, Three cubits long from either end to end. And these two ends adjusted were so true That the sime distance lay between the two. Big two-pound diamonds in the hilt made light Of nature's darkness—even day of night ! "Twas not yet morn (as I remarked before), Yet as he issued from his palace door This blaze-compelling spear changed nature so ‘The neighbors’ roosters straight began to crow ; And Pullman, waking up, was queered to see "Twas half-past five at only balf-past three ! —Eugene Field. ie na R, a ease rag ase é pears i 7g GREATEST InvENTION » STEPHEN F. WHITMAN &' SON eliventors ano SoLe Marrs. “- PHILADELPHIA. + “COLUMBIAS” HIGHEST ORADE ONLY. talegue Free. POPE MFG. C0. ea ‘TiFrankllaSt., BOSTON, 292 Wabash Ave., CHICAGO. Millet’s picture of ‘* Pig-killers” has been bought by a Chicago man and will soon be subjected for the first time to really expert criticism.—Chicago Mail, ticura | Ggicur For eet Xtons Birk 20uGH HAND Basy. Humors. AD COMPLEXIONS, WITH PIMPLY, BLOTCHY, lly skin, Red, Rough Hands: with chaps, painfal finer ends ‘and shapelest nails, and imple Baby Humers prevented Snd cured by Curcuna Soar, A marvelous beautifer of world- wide celebrity, it is is simply incomparable as a Skin Purilyis Soap, ‘unequaled ‘oilet and without a rival for the sry, TAbeolucly pore, delicate} ‘medicated, exq whitest, clear ming 0 ithe cause of pimples, blackheads, and most complex fons, while fe adaits of no. comparison with the beat of other skin toapa,and rivals in delicacy the most noted and expensive of toltetand nursery soaps, Ina word it parities, Deautides and preserves the skin as o0 other soap docs, and hence its sale is greater than the combined sales of alfother skin soaps, Sold throughout the civilized world. Price, ase Sena for "How to Cure Skin and Blood Diseases. ‘ ‘Address Porrae DAUG AND CusuiCaL CORPORATION, Propric- tors, Boston, Mascachusetts, U. ‘Aching sides and back, weak kidneys, weak muscles, nerve pains, and rheumatism relieved in one minute by the Ce eee as B00 COOKING. All who desire good cooking in their houses should use LIEBIG COMPANY?’S EXTRACT OF BEEF. A slight addition gives great strength ond flavor to Soups, Sauces and Made Dish One pound is equal to forty pounds of lean beef, of the value of about $7.50. Genuine only with fac-simile of J. von Liebig’s signature in blag ink seross the label. WE MAKE THE CIGAR, You MARE THE SMOKE. ive cts. Tiger Cubana a3:pe petincie in L a & SONS, 149 CHAMBERS ST N.Y. MANUFACTURERS, CANDY : BOnrHnsContectone: St..Chicago ‘Wonderful Discovery. Painless and Secret Cure at Home. Thousands of References. Book (sealed) ummm FREE. Dr. KANE, 174 Fulton St,, New York. Sere $2.10 or $30 for a retall express, o Rev Yorkand east of Denver of te Candies in the World, put up PROF. 8S. V. R. FORD, DIscovERER OF “HOPE FOR THE BALD,'"—(Trade-Mark.) Pamphlet of Information and Tes- tailed on receipt of stamp, Address 8. V. R. FORD, [Mention this paper.] Albany, N.Y. ASTHMA CURED FREE. SAMPLE bottle of BRONCHOLINE will be ‘ent free 00, application to D-H. Foxoa Dave State St., Albany, N.Y. Broncholine cures _ atthma and hay fevet’ Ask your druggist for it. bottles sent to any address for $1, or six for $s. Send for ree sample bottle and testimonials. AGENTS E82 cess Beas Sree, P.O. VI Y, Augusta, Maino, D. L. Downes HEALTH EXERcisER. eran SEDENTARY PEOPLE: a wate See pera ei Sans ‘Catalogue free. Address, Typewriter Department, Pore Mro. Co., Boston, New Vork, Chieago. ED-PINAUD a) ‘comicb ooks.com