Judge, 1890-11-22 · page 5 of 20
Judge — November 22, 1890 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of the era's humor magazine: **"Bed-Time"** is a nostalgic poem about an elderly person reflecting on loneliness while tending a fire at night, contrasting their quiet present with memories of childhood noise and family. **"Overcome"** is a brief comedic sketch where a ghost, arriving mid-snore, frightens a man who dismisses it—reversing the expected terror dynamic for humor. **"All Talk There"** references Ward McAllister, a real Gilded Age figure famous for defining New York "high society." The joke satirizes society people's pretentiousness—they can't even conduct proper conversation, needing to hide in opera boxes. **"Ramifications of the Ruling Passion"** jokes about an older woman wanting to marry someone younger than her own mother, mocking romantic delusion. Other sections include miscellaneous humorous observations and a poem about autumn ("Forerunners"). The page reflects typical late 19th/early 20th-century satirical magazine content targeting social pretension and domestic life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE 101 BED-TIME. ~~ INVIOLABLE SECRECY. an ‘While 1 was musing the fire burned." 4 & pee tell you something,” remarked -Miss Bleecker, “on the dead quiet.” peta ate “Very well,” replied Miss Beacon-Street of Boston ; “I will remem- HEN I Kiver up the fre o' nights 107 that it is on the deceased silence.” afore I go to bed ‘An’ watch the chunks acrumblia’ Into Roe series Bear RAMIFICATIONS OF THE RULING PASSION. eae on. oe ae He—*What is the objection to Maud’s marrying him? Isn't she Where the noisy blackbird whistled an‘ the old enough?” cheery robin suag, Aa’ it’s so still ‘at you kin hear the purrin’ of the eat An‘ the crinklin’ of the coolin’ coals the ALL TALK THERE. dog's a-blinkin’ at ; STE vs SOci Sew Ve Tn it me I'most with ¢*VVARD MCALLISTER says the society people of New York do Yat T was dead, not know how to talk. ‘When I kiver up the fire o' nights afore I “I guess he never sat under a society box at the opera.” go to bed. Ské—"Yes; but her mother is too young.” The clock ticks Jouder 'n’ faster'an I ever knowed it {0 When I ust to wisht I was a man an’ ever'thing was new; Fer then the wheels went all too slow that now go round so fast, ‘When I rikollect my blessin’s an’ how many of ’em’s past, An’ the long, thin hands a-p'intin’ : Keep a-goin’, never stoppin’, that most lonesomest of sound, Fer the comin’ of the livin’ or the goin’ of the dead, When I kiver up the fire o' nights afore I go to bed. ‘Then I hear the back-log sighin’ fer the tree ‘at it growed on ‘An’ fall to thinkin’ back about the days ‘at's dead an’ gone, Till I ketch myself a-sighio’ like a tree ‘at's old an* gray A-rockin’ in the wind with half its branches lopped away ; Fer no one knows, exceptin’ me, how much I miss the boys ‘With their eternal rompia’ an’ their everlastin’ noise *At ust to drowned out gran‘pap’s clock a-strikin’ overhead, ‘When I kiver up the fire o' nights afore I go to bed. ‘Then I allurs feel much lonesomer a-thinkin' of ‘em all, With my hair an’ whiskers whitened by the frosts of early fall, A-rockin’ and a-dozin’ in the same old fambly chair Where father sat with mother by him fondly strokin’ his gray hair ; Fer at my time o' life the hopes o' boyhood all at last Are lyin’ dead an’ buried in the ashes‘0’ the past, An’ the old clock’s solemn warnin’ clangs out suddint overhead : “Come, kiver up the fire, old man; it's time to go to bed.” ROWIN § MOPKINS. OVERCOME. LOUD, unearthly shriek swept through the house at midnight and Trotter sat up in bed and glared at a ghost that crouched upon the foot-board. “What do you mean by waking me up at this hour? growled Trotter; “you can't scare me.” NG. “ P-please, " chattered the shivering spook, “I Mr. Coorrs—"* Who bilongs v' dat bricky-brack ober dar, Swanny ?” didn’t w-want to, b-but I arrived in the middle of a deep SON is EOP b Mr. Coores—"* Had yo’ jess's lib put 'm in d’ closet? Mah nerves has been a liddle snore and I was frightened.” shook sence I had d’ scollet-feve FORERUNNERS. A PASH of rain, Drenched vines, clinging, miserable. Bared branches stretched hopelessly to the heavens. The scent of leaves and earth-mould impregnating sunny places. Wild grapes festooning rail-fences. The hoarding of nuts by the eerie folk in hollow trees and crannies. The sowing of winter wheat. A crackling of twigs beneath foot. Shorn fields bearing patient witness to the harvest. Milkweed, reminiscent and seedy. ‘The paling of sun-rays. The withdrawal of caloric from the air, A shrinking of tissues. Anemia: Dissolution. A handful of feather-down wafted from the land of the hyperboreans, ‘The arrival of Boreas en suite. A piercing blast. Winter, regal, icy-hearted, we salute thee. KATHKINE GROSJRAN. : MISUNDERSTOOD. = CO Y Spacer —" Don't you consider Vers FORCE OF TRAINING. ly's work overwrought?” PERKINS (the Acad-waiter, who has dined at home) —"‘A very good dinner, Perkins ; here’s a dollar for you. Editor—"1 do, indeed. It is the (Transfers a bill from his right hand to his left.) ‘Thank you, sit. Shall I help you on with your coat ?” most superlative rot I have ever seen, comicbooks.com