Judge — November 8, 1890 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A MAN died recently who had married one wife twice and another three times. His life was a failure. He had tried to do a Mormon business with but a little more material than would suffice for a moral kind of existence. eae GOME_ SCHOOL - CHILDREN of Toronto recently hissed the American flag. It is charged that they were instructed to do so; but all the same the flag was so hurt by the demonstration that it first drooped and then shrieked for help. BURGLAR to proprietor of house at four o'clock in the morning —" Beg parding, sir; but owin’ to the hincreased cost o' livin’ “cause o' these ere McKinley prices 1 must take all yer swag an’ yer note for a hunered or so besides.” PEW AND POLITICS. se] IS AS MUCH my duty to be a Republican,” says a Bahimore clergyman, “as it is to go to church and to pray.” Un- doubtedly, according to his lights; but there are men with different understandings who think it is as much their duty to be Democrats as to go to church. Let us not call the latter heretics or hypo- crites; and in good truth let us keep the church and the state so far apart that neither can knock the other out. SIMS AND OUR ALIC IMS REEVES says Alice Shaw's whistling belongs to the music halls, and refuses to appear with the lady in concert. Henry Ward Beecher once inquired,“ Why should the devil have the best and the lover of good stling really ought not to be obliged to go to the devil to get it. It may at least be said of our state- ly Alice that she whistles better than Sims Reeves sings, and it is remarkably good fortune that has kept the old gentleman out of the halls during the last twenty You were very long gettin; ready, Gertrude.” Mrs. Easetore—"' Yes, dear. I had to get into my’spirally-buttoned gown.” ONE ON WALL STREET. STRINGS! shoestrings!” he shouted as he lingered in front of the Exchange. “Only a nickel a pair, gents! warranted all linen! Lace up your shoes, gents; only a nickel a pair!” He is a familiar figure on the street, and many a millionaire gets this cheap but important article of dress from Old Shoestrings and exchanges jokes with him at the same time. It had been dull and hard work to get outsiders to bite on the golden bait for a few days, and in consequence the regular workers had been preying upon each other as much as possible, and Old Shoestrings knew by their faces that times were not easy on the street. “Shoestrings !" he cried; and a knot of brokers gathered about him and commenced to chaff him. “Well, how is business?" said one as he winked to the rest. “It puts me in mind of something that happened on the Central railroad during the strike,” said Old Shoestrings. “How was it?” asked the broker. “Why, you sce, a car-load of hogs was side-tracked at De Witt and forgotten.” “Well, what has that got to do with Wall street in this pinch?” asked the broker as he winked to the crowd. “Why, you see,” said Old Shoestrings, “after the strike was over they went and looked into that car and diskivered that those hogs when they were abandoned by the public turned in and ate each other up and there was nothing left but a basketful of tails. Now Wall street "— But a roar of laughter spoiled the explanation, and as the crowd dispersed they heard again, “ Shoe- strings, gents! all linen; only a nickel a pair!” ALT, wonben, I wonder what broke Tom Hallett’s engagement to Miss Breame.” Somebody told him that her mother used to be as pretty as comicbooks.com