Judge — October 25, 1890 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

38 JUDGE JUDGE'S FINANCIAL HAND-BOOK FOR BEGINNERS. Boodle—What other men steal from their employers. Perguisites—What you can obtain from yours without being found out. Gambling —Playing vulgar games like poker for a five-dollar limit Transactions—Dealing in futures without a limit. Embezzler—One who steals less than a hundred thousand dollars Bold financier—A gentleman who prefers to reside in Canada on employer's millions rather than live in the United States on his own hundreds. Cheating —When others get the best of you in a bargain. Good financial management—When you get the best of others in a bargain. : Fools—Those who let others interfere in their business. Men of sound judgment—Those who let you manage their business. A soulless corporation—The rich company in which you are not interested. A beneficent co-operative scheme—The rich company in which you are the principal stockholder. Rash speculation—When men lose in stocks. Able financiering—When men win in stocks. Villainous r The scheme you are not in. Mutual protective association—The scheme you are. A poor devil—One who has done one mean thing that didn’t suc ceed and has been found out veral hundred mean things INDIGNANTLY POSITIVE. that did succeed—whether found out or not. ANISTINE. ANDERSON. (The Van Bruggmans have introduced a Spanish dancer at their How sinuous she is!” at's downright scandal. There was never a word breathed against her, and I know it. OUT OF HIS ELEMENT. + ©\YVHO is that man who is making such a scene.at the box-office about his seats ?” That's Colonel Lovadove, president of the national peace society.” NOT OF THE OLD SCHOOL. Wife —* What suavity of manner and air of general refinement are shown in every movement! I'm sure that Mr. Hendricks is a gen- tleman of the old school.” Hushand —* He's nothing of the kind. He's a homceopathist.”” HE SUFFERED JUST THE SAME. Employer —*Nou are very late this morning, Mr. Threads.” phir oe Clerk —"Yes, sit; 1 suffered severely from insomnia last night, and when I finally got to sleep I overslept myself. Employer —"1 didn’t know you had insomnia. Clerk—"1 A TRIBUTE OF GRATITUDE. CaRewors CoLsreLt.—'Allow me to present you with this slight token of my appreciation of your kindness in lying so still last night. I've got to) room with you again, and trust that our pleasant relations will not be inter. haven't; but my rupted.” (Lies down.) baby has.” MARRIAGE IN LOW LIFE, STUBBS'S wife isn't at all sparing of her fists, desiring to bring Stubby up in the way he should go. Meeting a friend one day, after a set-to in which the stronger vessel had yot the worst of it, the assailed husband remarked : “T never could see much in all this talk nowadays about physical education. DRIFT FROM THE WRECK OF THE CONCORD SCHOOL. Rising essayist —* Now that you have read the manuscript, can you not suggest a title for the book —something as felicitous as ‘Proverbial Philosophy’ or ‘Guesses at Truth,’ you know?” Distinguished critic—* Why don't you call it ‘Robinson's Unrivaled Encyclopaedia of Platitudes *? GENIUS IN THE KITCHEN. cy (to newly-imported servant) —" You never saw a lobster before, did you, Bridget ? Bridget — Shure, an’ Oi've seen hundreds av the red things shwimmin’ in the creeks av the old counthry. Bagley — Brut lobsters are green, Bridget, before they are put in boiling water.” ‘ef (not to be put down)—" Shure, an’ there's boilin’ shprings roight in the ctecks, sor.”" WAR AND PEACE. First Central-Amerivan —* This is the bloodiest war we have had since the election of coroner.” md Central-American—" What news from the army this morning?" Wrst Central-American—* Mer a desperate struggle it has capitulated to the patrol- wagon.” SCOOPED. Cousin Grorcr—"' Pardon me, girls, but T was just going to bow to Miss Vates myself comicbooks.com