Judge — October 25, 1890 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

36 JUDGE HUM OF THE COURT. HE FLIES have got so feeble that one suspects there are many of their kind on them. MOUNT ST. ELIAS, in Alaska, is fifteen thou- sand feet high. How is that for—for a mountain in Alaska? HE LISH SPARROW is divided against itself regarding the tariff law. ‘That portion of him which lives here likes it first-rate. HERE ARE NOW no persons without visible means of support, the means being shown in every instance by amateur photography. DAN LOCKWOOD is running for congress in the Buffalo district. It will be remembered that for a long time Lockwood and Grover wouldn't. THE PRINCE OF WALES doesn’t care to be a king, and there is therefore a sweet harmony because the people of England do not care to have him. R. CLARKSON, who is called “the ex-heads- man,” is going to China, where they decapi- tate with great dexterity and without fuss or com- punction. 66 A WOMAN who has been a roller-skater is not to be fooled with,” says the editor of the Rochester Herald in a reminiscent mood and a sad, sweet voice. THE MORMONS having given up the open plural marriage, they will now have the unpublished ceremony according to Chicago. A LONDON PREACHER delivers ser- mons one minute long. We suspect that the no-minute limit will presently prevail so far as he is concerned. ao THERE IS MUCH that is sad in the LL Figs words of the editor of the Utica 02- : he queen can afford to drink y because she has two hats.” +4] T DOESN'T pay to be good,” says wr paper? the editor of the Buffalo Express. DITOR FREEPORT ** SHRIEK 5 e + of Faeepom "I tried 4 OUF experience shows that it does. Let book-review column a month this man try it for five minutes some ago, and all I received to write time. up was a hair-renewer calendar, Sree i Budd's pills almanac, a life: “THE HUSBAND of Lida Freeze of Ber- insurance prospectus, and a lin hanged himself the day after hi copy ‘Ten dollars for one ; or, = iz how to swing green-goods Marriage. He had courted the lady ten stopped it.” years, and never discovered any absence of warmth until she changed her name. FEEBLE MATERIAL. CALLER —" Why don’t you have more literary features in your paper?” THE STAGE is trying to see how far it ean approach the nude without being charged with indecency. The line has been changed many times, and now it is located about six feet behind the woman. A CHICAGO DOCTOR is very insist on vi ry because most of his lady patrons ination on the leg, that their arms may not be disfig- ured. It is really in his case the most vaccinatious question of the day. WINTER, the astronomers tell us, has set in early on the planet Mars, several snowstorms having already occurred there. We beg to suggest to the people of that locality that New York is the finest winter resort in the world. +4 XACTINGNESS,” says“ Amber” in the Chicago Herald, “kills love as a tight string kills the brightness out of a bunch of flowers.” This is said to show that the less a woman watches her husband the less he needs watching and the more chance she has of a seal-skin even if he does behave himself. ¢4] SHALL BE glad of the dawn of the day when every smooth face,” says David Swing. ‘These things, David, are vouch- safed at that time in the morning only to persons who have nothing to shave off their faces; and besides, oh pure in heart, the best of barbers can shave no wrinkles down, GOVERNOR HILL spoke on a fine day, at the Niagara county fair, to several hundred less persons than were gathered at the same place on the following day, which was rainy and generally disagreeable. The indifference of the public to the agricultural essay is one of the most frightful of the evils of the time, A BROADWAY DRAMA. ANNOYING LITTLE Gint.—"Oh, mamma! Buy me the small one.” [7 WILL TAKE seventy years to unearth all the buried treasures of Pompeii, and twice that length of time to reach a system of pavement and piping that won't have to be torn up just as soon as it is put down and every three weeks thereafter. E RECALL the case of chicken-stealing casually mentioned by the editor of the Schenectad The bird was found on that gen- tleman’s table and the feathers were sticking in his hair; but was he re- sponsible for the blowing of the four winds of heaven? DESCRIBING an angry woman, the Schenectady Union says, * Her body is constructed on the plan lately adopted by a western firm for the construction of boilers—she makes steam rapidly.” We think we recognize the description. Is she generally blowing it off? JUBAL EARLY, ex-confederate and one of the Louisiana lottery con pany, was buried under a pile of brick the other day.“ What's this he inquired with extreme anxiety when they found him. “Has Phili Sheridan been resurrected or is the fifty-first congress in session again ? PHILADELPHIA may be a slow town, but there is some startling truth in the allegation of the Troy Press that Philadelphians occasion- ally run over to New York and buy a railroad or two or a gas company before breakfast. That, indeed, may account for the bad service of those institutions. AN EMBLEM OF CHANCE. Miss RayNok —"' Isn't that a funny place to be tattooed ?” Uston Pactric Dick —"'It ain't 'xac'ly reg'lar, but I got scalped in eighty- six, an’ [ had it put on in th’ dead hope that th’ hair would grow out ag: comicbooks.com i