Judge, 1890-10-25 · page 10 of 16
Judge — October 25, 1890 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains several short satirical pieces and humorous sketches typical of late 19th/early 20th-century American humor. The opening poem "Ah, What?" is romantic melodrama—a man pricks his finger on a rose given by a woman at a dance, and she tenderly binds his wound. The joke is the overwrought sentiment: he questions what gesture could heal his lovesick heart. The cartoons mock everyday absurdities: a Chicago woman celebrating her "fiftieth anniversary of her divorce" (divorce was scandalous and rare, making repeated divorces ridiculous); a man who sleeps through every theater act (implying the plays are boring); a baker and cobbler trading insults about their professions. "A Boomerang" presents ironic comeuppance—a baker insults a cobbler's poverty, then dies when the cobbler sarcastically wishes he'd never knead bread (a curse). Other pieces use simple wordplay or situational humor: a woman's preference for "canvas-back hams" (a luxury), confusion about taking someone's "measure," and a failed elopement where someone removed the ladder. The humor relies on puns, romantic excess, professional rivalry, and social pretension—typical *Judge* content targeting middle-class readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE AH, WHAT? HE room was ablaze and the music was dying In soft, lingering strains at the end of the dance, When she lifted her flowers, half laughing, half sighing, And gave me right shyly a rose and a glance. A tender blush-rose like the heart of a cupid, A glance like the opening of flowers in May ; But the rose had a thorn and my finger was crimsoned, And in the rose petals a little elf lay. She saw the small wound with a sweet perturbation, With eyes softly pleading and lips half apart She gave me her kerchief to bind up my finger— Ah! what will she give me to bind up my heart? Paronnic LANciny A CHAMPION “SKULLER.” A NEW KIND OF CELEBRATION. ]¥ CHicaco. ‘ NATURALLY. “There seems to be something unusual going on this evening in the 44, 741-7 his place suffers from the freshmen nobody knows house across the wa ; . : : exclaimed a resident of a college town. “Ves; Mise ‘Lakeleont i celebrating the “‘itieeb saniversary of her “I'd think you'd sophomore from the second-year men,” replied divorce. his hearer. GEORGE DID THE TANKING. Mrs, Gazzam —"\ went to the theatre last night with George.” Mrs. Bunting —* Was it one of those tank plays?” Mrs. “L think it must have been, for there were six acts and George went out every time the curtain fell.” A. BOOMERANG. A BAKER once meeting a cobbler ill-fed Accosted him roughly. ‘*It puzzles my head How you've lasted so long, and with bristle and thread Have kept sole and body together," he said, “Tl wager my awl I shall never knead bread,” The cobbler replied ; and the baker fell dead. NENKY MeKnERT SQUIER, HER CHOICE AS TO HAMS. Mrs. Struckoyle half a dozen hams. Dealer —*Yes, ma'am, What brand Mrs. Struckoyle—" You may send canvas-back hams this time.” (to dealer) —" Oh, yes; and you may send up AST. STRAW. Tur. ovetce-noy —" They’s a man outside with a bill.” ‘THe epttoR—" Tell him I'm dead.” E OFFICE-NOY (after going out and coming back again) —"* He said he was sorry, sir. I clean forgot t’ tell you that th’ bill was a five-dollar one t’ pay a subscrip.” EASILY ASCERTAINED. ‘¢] TOOK Mr. Goslin’s measure the first time 1 saw him,” ree marked Miss Bleecker. “Yes,"" replied Miss Beacon-Street of Bostor can be approximated very rea PROSAIC. Miss Rosalie—“\sn't it too bad that the leaves have begun to turn?” Trotter Oh, 1 don’t know; it's only natural. Even a worm will turn.” “his dimensions HER SMILE. GE had a smile that was divine T drank it as a man drinks w I placed my lips at that red cup And longing, thirsting, drank it up I kissed her smile RATIOINR COSPRAN, FROM OUR NEW DICTIONARY. Happiness—A ball that we chase while it rolls, and spurn with our feet when it stops. on ecution— mati at which the author loses his head A RELATIVE QUESTION. Primus —" Vow that little Miss Fitch has improved since she A NIPPED ELOPEMENT, ? CiavpiA—" Why that anxious expression, Herbert? Are we discovered ?* went off to school! ° Batterson —"* I'm sure Of only one thing, pettie. Somebody has carefully Secundus —" Yes; she has the manners of a shop-girl now.” removed the ladder from beneath my feet.” i. comicbooks.com