Judge — October 11, 1890 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NEAR THE Mxks. STILPHENS — Mk. KiInpers— Gaps D B. HILL knows more about Jeffersonianism than T. Jefferson ever * dreamed of. I've noticed it, TONE must not think of dying as long as Balfour is alive. ONES gravely announces that Hill is out of politics. Sometimes eels are out of their hides, but not until they are dead. SOME GREAT MEN have bad habits, but we have always treated William Evarts’s hat and overcoat with considerable respect. THE PUBLISHERS of Frank Leslie's Newspaper propose a dolls’ dress party, dolls in arms to be admitted provided they don’t squeak. SCIENTIST is trying to find whether monkeys have a spoken lan- guage; and by the way the Democratic state committee recently got together a fine collection of double-jointed words. WE SUPPOSE every impecu- nious wretch who tries to borrow five dollars will presently be found laying his financial mis- fortunes to the McKinley bill. [7 1S.A melancholy fact that the “men who do the most lying about our Grover are Democrats, but it must be ad- mitted that they know just how todoits © Ve 6s THERE IS GOING to be a badly damaged throne in Portugal. The government has established a censorship of the news, and no little seven-by-nine government can live with such contemptible tyranny as that. LEADING ARTISTS and writers of London are doing their fighting in public places and with fists instead of chalk and plumbago, and the cable advertises them so persistently that presently they will be en- couraged to lose their diamonds. Mr. Swartz ! as at his money !” his face, I feel sure it PHIZZICAL, Komantic paucuTek —* Mamma, I have made up my mind. 1 don’t care if he #s rich; I'm sure I'd have to look at Aim.as often POLO-GROUNDs. *What we Newportians are in love with is the absolute air of freedom about the place. You can come and go as you like. Why, out in Joliet we'd no more let those three convicts out to break stone without a guard than we'd fi [ F LONGFELLOW had known that some school trustees would charge him with indecent poetry he would have folded his tent, like the Arab, and silently snickered away JOHN W. FEWELL of Mississippi has won renown for proposing in a Democratic convention that the Democrats indorse and advocate woman suffrage. Many women poets are writing verses about him, and Kate Field says for her part that he’s handsome and ought to be hugged. Fewell is likely to die of this affection, but he thinks he'll die happy. DAVID'S GENERAL HEALTH. SOMEBODY asked our governor, How do you do this morning?" “1 find,” said our governor, ing his ear with much apparent thought, “that there is no provision in the constitution of this state war- ranting the expense of an investigation of the matter referred to ‘in your interrogatory, and therefore respectfully but firmly decline to make a reply.” It is manifest that with such a governor as that this state is not going to be imposed upon by Robert Porter or anybody else. THE VIRTUE AT WASH- INGTON. E CANNOT praise too highly the respect for good literature shown in the failure to print in the Con- gressional Record some recent speeches in the house of repre- sentatives. The speeches were bad, though lithe, able and mus- cular; and yet—we make the re- mark with extreme regret—er ery Democrat in the house in- sisted that they be printed. The Republican vote was as clearly against their production in the Record; and in this period of Tolstot- Zola - Longfellow litera- ture, to say nothing of the ha- bitual publication of Democrat newspapers, this triumph of vit tuous over vicious print is pe- culiarly gratifying. Our com- pliments to the majority of the 5 house, and may their tongues as well as their votes be on the side of morality forevermore. T cannot marry MERCENARY PARENT —*‘ You would have to do nothing of the sort; and as for ould grow on you.” ROMANTIC DAUGUTER—"Grovo on me! Heaven forbid !" comicbooks.com