Judge — October 4, 1890 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A FOIBLE. WHEN we combat _misfort- une’s flings This much we find is true: We never think we can do the things We do not wish to do. WITH, USUALLY. Customer —" One beer!” Bar-tender —“Nes, sit; with or without? Customer —“ With or with- out what?” Bar-tender —* Flies.” UNACCOUNTABLE, Cumso—"1 don't see how Lady Dunlo can be a success Sencar on the stage.” PERTINENT ADVICE. Fangle—"Why not?” Miss TREMMER (after the gang-plank slipped)—" Oh! good Lord, save me! save G She hi jj. me! Don't let me d-drown wae eFC BILL THE BOATMAN —"* Excuse me, lady, but if you'll shet your mouth a minnit vorce, you know.” you'll help him like thunder.” GENUINE HARD WORK. [N A POLICE-couRT. Magistrate (indulging in a natural spasm of honest indignation) — “Wretched man! instead of honestly earning your bread by the sweat of your brow "—— Prisoner (interrupting) —"And does your honor think it doesn’t make the beads come on a feller’s forehead when he's a-garrotin’ a hindividual, sir?" Harn ron, HE IS UNHAPPY. McCorkle—"\ hear that Mr. Hunker is not happy in his mar- ried life.” MecCrackle—* That's so. 1 understand that his wife is a regular Tomreed.” LIKE A BIBLICAL CHARACTER. “Dolley, I hear you are going with the lovely Mrs. Looker Yes; it makes me feel like the prophet Elijah.” Dolley —" He shared the widow's cruse too.” NOT ARISTOCRATIC. 7 Lord Noddy —" Owah family is vewy old, I assuah you. You may SconkD Weastt (the Chineok)— look it up in the peerage.” a gue sae Sipe as Mrs. Bargainer (who has a marriageable daughter) — That may his fathers. Wough! here's for the be, but none of your folks have the gout.” dark depths of Lake Assassabit.” y THE SUMMER-GIRL. Kea (To her discarded lovers.) he MY AUTUMN leaves! my autumn leaves! Sometimes for you my fancy grieves. ] You were so nice for summer play; But then, I couldn't bring away A lot of green things, don't you know, And with the autumn leaves must go. A FAIRY BAD JOKE, ¢¢PIDN'T you hear some- thing drop just then?” inquired Oberon as he entered his council chamber early in October. “Yep,” answered Puck guess it’s the fall of the ye: CAUSE AND EFFECT. qT 4 ECREATION = LAWYER Scriptum is dead. mae He Bee i) ISN = . ae Mrs. Wocram, at's father.” Poor profession the law is ‘Tourist —"'Is it? What's he running around in a circle for?” He has left few effects Mas. Wocram —" He allus does that when he gits inter that army uniform of For he had but few causes. hhis'n, His fust an’ last fight was Bull Run, an’ th’ mem'ry gits strong.” ence eer _ fer?” 415 THE BARNSTORMER. WHEN he is broke—without a dollar— ‘There's this before his eyes : Though owning neither cuff nor collar He yet can count his ties. UNDOUBTEDLY. Amy—"A lover is like private secretary, isn’t he?” Mabel—“Not that ~ know of.” Amy—"Oh, yes; he's man you win, sis THE DIFFERENCE. Maddox —“ What barber- shop were you shaved in?” Gazzam—"It wasn't a barbershop. It was a ton- sorial parlor. The artist charged me twenty cents.” LEAP—2. LavaGHine Swap (a moment later) —"The brave son of a Chinook has made a beautiful bluff for the lake, but : he doesn’t seem to be in it.” A REST. 46D)ID you have a jolly va- D cation?” “You bet! and I knew the lo- cation, For I didn’t have far to roam ; My wife and her mother And smart little brother ‘Tried the country— I rested at home !” HIS WEAK POINT. Rube Hatfield (to sherifl) — “Whacher ‘rest. my boy Jim Sheriff —"He killed a man last Sunday. Rube Hatfield — Wall, Jim never did hev much respect fer the Sabbath.” TIS FALL. Dudelbohy —"Aw, are you fond of leaves, you know? Miss Sharpleigh some people's.” comicbooks.com