Judge — September 27, 1890 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LOVERS’ LANE. OUCHED by the frost, the autumn blast, In Lovers’ Lane the leaves fall fast ; Their green has changed to red and blue, And gloried them with every hue; But when the twilight shadows fall, The katydids and crickets call, ‘The lonesomeness is like a pain, So still and sad is Lovers’ Lane. The summer months saw lovers walk With good bright plumage, quick with talk, Or still with romance, nights and days; But, now they've gore their various ways, The loves they had are plumaged gray, Bedraggled with the soil of play, Or lifted toward the heavens with pride, For several went off side by side. Through Lovers’ Lane at night I pace. The dead leaves carpet all the place. Ghosts of old romance peep between ‘The leafless branches once $o green. hhich of the couples happier are, ‘The broken of the married pair?” Task of every wind that blows The answer comes in sighs, * God knows.” A DISTINGUISHED PATIENT. ROM a qu: ck medicine advertisement: The proprietors of the celebrated elixir might fill pages of this jour- nal with testimonia » but they will modestly limit themselves to repro- ducing a letter from General P., one of our most distinguished sufferers from rheumatism.” ARTIFICIAL BROADHENT SUMMERSIDE (teneasily WEATHER. “'S if 1 didn’t git wet enough in that thunder-storm last night, a sun-shower's got to come along an’ wake me up 397 MODERN SCIENCE, (+ ] SUPPOSE your son learned a lot at that new-fangled Boston school ?” “Oh, yes. sciences. “And what is he doing now—resting?” “Oh, dear, no. Henry is applying his knowledge in perfecting cular saw for cutting trousers for bow-legged men.” Henry stood at the head of all his classes in the PROOF POSITIVE. Bagley —Fleecy told me he was going out of town to-day, but I don’t believe he went.” Bailey — Oh, yes, he did. He went to Albany for pleasure.” Bagley —"That proves that Fleecy is in the city. Nobody ever goes to Albany for pleasure.” FILLING A LONG-FELT WANT. Prospective settler —* What a queer town this is! every one hundred fect in every direction.” Agent —*Great scheme, sir! Every fifty feet is a corner lot! How many will you take?” A street A JOKE THAT FAILED. AVER MAN (af @ new place)—" Well, Jobn, are your eggs ition?” it Jous (with asperity) —" We never has no crittercism on de eggs, " NewSPAPER MAN—"'So? If they are as fresh as you are.they don’t deserve any.” HYPERBOLE COULD NO FURTHER GO. NUINE epitaph in a church- yard in Madrid: Here lies Juan Pinto, the Spanish Orpheus. On reaching heaven he joined in the chorus of the archangels; but the moment the Deity heard his voice He cried out, ‘Silence, you rabble, and let us hear the illustrious Juan Pinto!” PEACE AT ANY PRICE. Mrs. Passmore —" Well, John, 1 should think you could mind the baby ten minutes. What's he crying for now?” Mr. Passmore (disgusted) —" Oh, he wants the earth!" Mrs, Passmore—"Well, why don't you give it to him?” THE BUSINESS PRINCIPLE. Patient (after receiving his prescription) God will repay you.” Absent-minded physician (taking out note- book) — Please give me his address.” A NOBLE STEED. Campaign orator —""You may lead the horse to water, but you can't make him drink.” : Excited Kentuckian —" Bully for the (hic) horse!” “Thanks, doctor ;